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I actually relish those moments i get to be alone with my thoughts. Most of the time that happens at night as the events of the day flit thru my mind before i doze off.... the stillness of the night helps me listen to me. We hear our thoughts throughout the day and yet we very rarely stop to really listen ... we're always so busy acting on them.   

And yet....... occasionally.........loneliness intrudes upon the aloneness .. and instead of the calmness that wash over me as i put things into perspective i am unsettled by a sense of dread as my thoughts run wild........

 

at times like that i really wish there is someone around i can talk to... someone who'll stick around to listen to my irrational thoughts.....but like i said, this almost always happens at night , like now at 2:30am, and there is no one i'd inconvenience for the sake of my relief..... so always i just steel myself and talk myself through it... and sometimes, albeit rarely, the thoughts win.....overwhelm me.....and i stay up .... lonely.... annoyed....  perplexed.... fearful..... and tonight's one of those nights....

nrskjh nrskjh
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 17, 2010

Lightpainter, i repeatedly tell myself not to have a panic attack..........which i suppose, is in itself a panic attack? :P So you indulge in reverse psychology? Isnt it amazing the many ways our brain deceives itself? :)