Being More Dominant

I have a desire to be more dominant, and my wife is also one who wants me to be. I would like some leads. We have very little time with having 3 kids and blending our families. I know it is about communication. I bought a few books, and searching through the web. Could I get some thoughts?

randomleo randomleo
31-35, M
2 Responses Oct 11, 2010

it does...thank you. I have always been an equal in my relationships and my girl wants me to lead and asks for more domination, at the same time she doesn't know what she wants. Have a long weekend together to explore.

There are many sites and communities out there for you to use as resources. Just look at two phrases: Domestic Discipline and "Taken in Hand" to get a good feel what options are out there.:<br />
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TIPS: Communicate, Communicate, Communicate make sure you both are on the same page for this. Checking in on a regular basis in a Power Exchange relationship is important where the submissive is free to speak their mind as an equal without any fear of recriminations.<br />
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Make sure that once a punishment/spanking is administered for an incident, that her slate is "wiped clean". Don't bring that **** up afterwards and hold it over her. She paid the price physically by taking the spanking. Bringing the incident up afterwards is just mental abuse.<br />
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Be very clear with what is accepted behavior and what isn't. She needs to know what the boundaries and rules are so that there is no excuse for breaking them, there is no miscommunication, and there are no misunderstandings as to why she is being disciplined. This would build resentment on her part and confusion if she doesn't know beforehand why she is being punished.<br />
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Reward her! Reward her! Reward her! When she exhibits good behavior. Going along with the status quo and only reacting when she does something bad doesn't give her much incentive. You don't have to do it all the time, in fact the rarer the better in that she should always be striving for that elusive praise, but who wants to play a rigged game where there is no change for them to "win"?<br />
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Depending on the girl, I like to enforce ****** Control. My slave does not ****** unless I allow it. This may seem horrible and barbaric but in reality, what it does is focus her on listening and responding to me and my commands. (It's really very rare where I actually deny her, hence I'm calling what I do to my slave as ****** CONTROL, not denial, but when she asks permission to ***, knowing that I may, at my whim, deny her, she is not only very grateful for the go-ahead, but she is in fact following my orders and responding to my commands.)<br />
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Hope this helps!