Hi in here...
I wish it was different..but I cannot live my life as most people do. Socializing, small talking, joining parties with people they know, and people they don´t know. I get stock within the first hour - and find it superficial and fake to small talk, and spend several hours with people that I don´t really know, and don´t care about me. Often in these superficial moments, people don´t WANT to know you, more than a few hours at this particular evening/party/event, where your new 'friend' finds it embarrasing not to have anyone to talk to, while glancing the dance floor, hoping to meet the eyes of a handsome guy.
On and off I have to hide from this living game. Isolate myself from everything, at least for a few days at a time.. The problem with me is that 'a few days' very easily can become a few weeks, and then I get depressed. So I´m really practizing in using my surroundings when things get rough.