Now More Than Ever

I have never really considered myself to be a flirt....until now! I have been in a committed relationship for so long that flirting had become a lost art to me...I simply didn't do it. I learned very early on that any flirting, or even anything that my man could potentially see as flirting, made things in my relationship very difficult. He would become extremely angry with me, and the poor unlucky guy who just happened to get a little too friendly would find himself in the path of my man's jealous wrath with a bulls eye on his forehead! Needless to say, these situations were often humiliating for me, so I learned to avoid any behavior that could be conceived as me flirting.

Skip to the present....here I am on EP and I have to confess that I flirt almost shamelessly, and I'm loving it...it's fun...it makes me feel good. It's been so long that I had somewhat forgotten how to flirt, but I am relearning my skills (I think, lol).

But, to be honest, I hadn't really thought about my flirtatious actions here and how they may effect others until recently. I read a few stories about people getting their hearts and emotions maliciously toyed with by other members here, and I found myself stopping and wondering...."have I ever made someone think or feel there was something more to my words, gestures, gifts, etc?". I don't believe I've ever carelessly misled anyone here, but I also understand that people are here for different reasons, and I'm sure some people could misconstrue my flirtation as an open invitation into my life outside of EP.

I feel that I have made my intentions here clear through stories and such, but perhaps not. So, just to make sure no one gets hurt, I'll reiterate what I've said before. I'm in a relationship, and even if my relationship fails, I am not looking to meet anyone. I'm not looking for someone to rescue me...to make my life better. I'm not here to get personally involved with anyone on an emotionally intimate level. And, most importantly, I'm not here to mislead anyone...to hurt anyone's feelings....to break anyone's heart. I'm pretty certain my friends, who I so love flirting with, know this and feel the same about their flirtations toward me. But, just to be safe, I'm putting it here in print:  I AM A SHAMELESS FLIRT AND HAVE NO INTENTION OF STOPPING ;) xoxo

*this story is not aimed at anyone in particular*
LG76 LG76
36-40, F
25 Responses May 9, 2012

Straight from the heart. That's awesome..!!!!!!!!

Awesome, LG76. You laid it out there bare.

It's always good to bear in mind that some people online get very deeply involved, and very likely because many of them come here because of empty spaces in their own relationships--the "kindness of strangers," as it were, may overwhelm them. I flirt like mad, too, and like you, I've found that I may have inadvertently led people on while doing it. But there's also the question of intimacy, and although you write here that you're not looking for intimacy, the online situation (in my view) is more complicated than that. There IS an intimacy to these online flirtations and chats--not the sort of intimacy one finds in a real world relationship to be sure, but an intimacy nonetheless. And I think it helps if both people online share an understanding of the nature of that online intimacy AND ITS LIMITATIONS. Like, for example, I'm not gonna fall in love with an anonymous stranger just through online chat. And I'm not gonna get jealous or feel hurt if my online chat friend tells me she needs to go because she has an actual real world date. I've totally been where you are, LG76 (except that both my gf and I flirt equally in public and there's not a scrap of jealousy like the one you describe). And it is very hard to find an online friend who shares your own view of what those conversations mean, how they can develop, and what their limits are.

Good for you! I just love flirting with women, it is so exciting giving off little signals that you find them attractive and desirable, without any real threat of hitting on them. I think it makes someones day when someone lets you know they find you attractive!

I AM A SHAMELESS FLIRT TOO AND I ALSO HAVE NO INTENTION OF STOPPING ;) xoxo

I've never really flirted until recently and I'm not even good at it, but i do find it fun....and like to be flirted with.

So.....do you come here often? lol jk

Flirting (usually) makes both parties feel validated or interesting. I see nothing wrong with it either.

Actually can be feminine expression on a on committal basis...........open the valve let out the pent up sensuality..........So if you have it express it on a non threating basis and here ;your up front about it...........................lots of all to you , enjoy the day

I like to flirt too. It boasts up my self esteem when the other person flirts back with me. But if he don't, I'll feel like I'm throwing myself at him. So embarrassing :p

Hey flirting is ok. Telling someone you think their cute, or gee I like your butt, wow you have spare socks in those pants has to make a girl/guy smile, blush, or grin. Its up to you. You can walk away, or break the ice and continue the conversation.

I have been in the same situation as you before and Id love to flirt with you now :)

aw....you're a cutie! Too bad I'm not 18 years younger..... :O LOL

Love the post, open sexy and honest! When I was younger I never really knew what to say and choked up so many times when I should have said something. When I moved to the US things really changed, women began to flirt with me...it makes me feel great, and I must confess I have become rather good myself! I agree with not leading someone on - Im a shameless open flirter I love to cyber chat also - naughty or nice auts all an extension of ones sexuality. Why am I here? I lost a really good friend a few weeks ago and he doesnt have time any more for things he wanted to do... i decided that day to find a way to channel my desires and I will make things happen that I need to get off my list! best as always,

Mattx

I'm sorry about your friend :( I hope you get everything you need out of your experience here. xo

Thanks and I'm really enjoying things so far!


Mattx

Your story here makes me realise that I need to engage with this group - but whether for fun or for sanity I am not sure. Every story I read on this subject leaves me with an unanswered question - about why we do it. Maybe I should try to work out what it is and post it as a separate piece?

why we flirt? I think it's simple. It feels good... :) I'm curious about your theory though....hope you write a separate post on it. Let me know if you do.

You inspired me. Here's my attempt to explain what doesn't add up about flirting: http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Like-To-Flirt/2839071

I just don't understand why..

Awesome, honesty about your feelings is the best thing for you and your relationship

thanks :)

You are a class act. Sensitivity to others is vital in our lives. And so is flirtation. You seem to have both in abundance.<br />
May I drop you a few flirty lines?

you're sweet :) thank you.

It would be nice to remember how to flirt... hmmm wonder if I can get lessons? Great post!! :)

trust me...I am on training wheels, you don't want lessons from me! :D lol

i know what you mean! I have to walk without looking at anyone or talking to anyone from the opposite sex because of fear of what my fiancee's gonna think or say. <br />
its very tiring.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that is only a sign of what's to come.... your fiance is jealous because he's insecure and secretly doesn't believe he's good enough for you. It won't matter WHAT you do to prove yourself, it's an issue that is within him and only he can fix that. You're young....really consider spending the rest of your life being afraid to make eye contact or smile at another man.... food for thought sweetie because I've been there. xoxo

Freeibird she is right, as a man, this is the sign of someone very controlling and insecure, never fun. If you would like to talk more, let me know. "Unfortunately, I don’t have a clever pick up line. I’m just here to meet you"

I say good for you! It's so nice to find an outlet for such things. Personally I also always want to flirt, but I'm shy on the internet and a lot more flirtatious in real life.

You are a very sweet person for be so concerbed about others! That being said, there is nothing wrong with a little playful flirting! It can be fun and make you feel good about yourself and can cheer others up. My wife and I playfully flirt with others and we find it fun and it adds to our relationshipWe've been at it for over 27 years so I don't think it'll hurt us!

I too am a shameless flirt ! It is indeed a lost art form and it feels very good to remember HOW to flirt!

Say it aint so! Lol! Thanks for putting this out there, very good idea to clarify!

lol...you know all my flirting towards you comes straight from the heart! xo

Good for you

Most guys that are sure of themselves & confident already know this and understand, so it is nice to have a nice flirt going back and forth with each other. You willkind of have to read a guy first , to know at what level you can take things. Some guys will think you are wanting sex if all you do is pass them on the side walk, smile and say " have a nice day" it can be weard? ???

I agree....but it can be very hard to "read" people here. I just don't want to give anyone the wrong impression :)

There is nothing wrong with a hot sexy flirt ! And we love ya for it!

aw...likewise sweetie! xo