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How To Backfire Flirting To Let The Guy Know To Get The Hell Away:

Boy: Where have you been all my life?
Girl: Hiding from you.

Boy: Haven’t I seen you some place before?
Girl: Yes- that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: I’d go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Then you can start by going through the door.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: I must have been given your share.

Man: Go on, don’t be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: OK, get out.

Man:I think I could make you very happy.
Woman:Why? Are you leaving?

Man:What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

MonsterBeneathYourBed MonsterBeneathYourBed 26-30, F 39 Responses Jan 1, 2013

Your Response


It seems you've heard them all lol

I actually tried some of those pick-up lines.

Any luck with them ?

It often works with the guys on a bar ;)

I guess all you have to do is say hello and it would work anyway

No. Not really.

Wow ,I guess times have changed

3 More Responses

Lol funny lady , more please.

crashing and burning :) somebody call 911 - this is a disaster.

Excellent. I've seen many so-called older men make complete fools of themselves with lines not much better than these. Let's hope not all of us are idiots. Sometimes I think it's a tough call.

can u add me please id love to chat with u

meow, Meow, MEOW! PFFFFT! PPPPPFFFFFTTTTT! Bad kitty. That's gonna hurt, mean puss.

the line dont mean **** she has made up her mind before you open your mouth...

Yech, this reminds me of girls on the East Coast.

Girl. LOL Have you seen the YouTube video by Jenna Marbles? Go find her and watch the one about giving the face. It is so ******* funny. I nearly pee myself every time I see it. here is the link damn funny

You used to be able to tell guys you were "born a man", but these days, it might not work!!!!!! So many freaky people out there

Some of these are hilarious, but with how crazy some people are these be careful using them.

True story:
"Can you drive a stick, baby?"
"Yeah, and I'll drive it straight up into your wishbone if you don't get out of here.

real examples, this is what i like most about your post!

But surely, if pick-up lines like that are meant to be icebreakers, coming back with a devastating putdown is precisely the worst way to indicate you aren't interested. You've suddenly got from "being hit on" to "flirting"....

I'm not one for pick-up lines, but there's nothing that attracts me to someone more than witty repartee.

Oh, poor thing, Iron (hearted) Lady. Hey, please someone write a counter-story for a woman's flirts, I seem to enjoy them so I can't write . :-) :-)

It's not that mean though :P

Haha yeah, not mean anymore after you go home and realize the humour, LoL.

In ten years, you'll be sitting with your girlfriends in bars sipping margaritas and bitching to each other "Where are all the men?"


Ain't that life?

When will you realize that we were meant to be?

When will you realize that they actually enjoy it but don't say it as much ? :-) :-)

How can I come to that realization if they don't say it often enough?

You are to funny MBYB! Tickled my funny bone and made me laugh...

As funny as I think that is, it's your attitude that I find most intriguing!!! Thanks for sharing!


Sometimes I run across a personality that I find very challenging to figure out and get to know, I do like the attitude I get from your stories, but just to be honest........this time......**** it!!! But I do wish you well....

It depends on the mood.


Wait a minute...I hear those all the time.

too bad for u , bro

hey whats up my metabolism slowed down a long time ago lol

Man:What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

I love that one!! hahaha

one of my personal favs :P

Haha, good one.

love it !

Man:I think I could make you very happy.
Woman:Why? Are you leaving?

HAHAHAAH great post!

Absolutely brutal!!

and funny :P



I'm very much glad you like this thing. I myself had a laugh and I used to try some of those lines before :P

This is so awesome!!

So glad I'm married and away from the dating scene.

That's awesome. I have to tell u tho. The best line I ever heard was "hi I'm a freelance gynecologist". It earned him a seat. Not to mention he was hot anyway lmao

She must have said : I am into Orthopaedics. :-) :-)

This is too funny for words.

This is too funny. Can I copy it?

Sure, why not?
Spread the love :P


Lol.. More like sarcasm to me..Too funny..Thanks for sharing..

I really like this, it is both realistic and humorous! Thanks!

That's just harsh. The guy might actually like the girl, and she just spits in his face for his efforts.
But then comes the fact that most douchebags also flirt, which, in my case, I'm okay with them falling off of their little towers of ego.

Thats just a joke, no ?

Indeed it is!

How about this : 'Hi Maria, I dreamt about you last night, it was so vivid I had to paint your face as soon as I got up in the morning and while doing so, I was humming a tune, I realized I had just composed a new one. Can I play that for you on the violin ? '

haha lel


Sign=do not enter.... Funny stuff. Thanks!