Sarcasm Is My Flirting Weapon Of Choice

So, I'm sarcastic.  When I meet a girl, if we are hitting it off, I love to joke around and tease with her.  Girls who can dish it back make it all the more fun.  Usally at first, it's light hearted and all in good fun, but once I really start to know her and figure out what she can and cannot handle my quips will get better and better.  If a girl can't take my awesomitude, it just won't work out. 

SpiritualFighter SpiritualFighter
26-30, M
59 Responses Feb 22, 2010

Awww, You know you don't want to avoid me. I'm too much fun.

You're wrong Lesbeau, you missed out.<br />
<br />
Terribly.

One thing I've learned from readig the story & all the comments is avoid anything to do with SpiritualFighter.

Wow. I didn't even have to be here for all that.

Anytime Mr. awesome. <br />
<br />
I figured you weren't capable of recognizing your awesomeness as opposed to your ego. <br />
<br />
=)

Guilt? What's that? I sleep like a rock at night.<br />
<br />
I agree. I'm way to awesome to have an ego. Thank you for pointing that out.

We're talking about girls stroking your ego, And I was not psycho-analyzing you.<br />
<br />
We're also not mentioning that you cry yourself to sleep at night due to your guilt. <br />
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You don't have an ego, why would we be talking about that?

I do love it when a girl strokes my ego.<br />
<br />
Wait, what are we talking about again?

Perturbee put so much effort into that, she must be right. <br />
<br />
SF, I bet this story has been stroking your ego just right.

Funny how you pick the most negative definition instead of the more numerous positive definitions. And even more funny is how you'd assume you could even get me to go on a date with you. I'm quite picky and you area little negative for my tastes as well as outside my age range. But thanks for playing.

1 point for inventing (or stealing) the word awesomitude.<br />
---<br />
awe·some (ôsm)<br />
adj.<br />
1. Inspiring awe: an awesome thunderstorm.<br />
2. Expressing awe: stood in awesome silence before the ancient ruins.<br />
3. Slang Remarkable; outstanding: "a totally awesome arcade game" (Los Angeles Times).<br />
---<br />
awe [ɔː]<br />
n<br />
1. overwhelming wonder, admiration, respect, or dread<br />
2. Archaic power to inspire fear or reverence<br />
vb<br />
(tr) to inspire with reverence or dread<br />
---<br />
*-itude is probably from attitude...<br />
at·ti·tude (t-td, -tyd)<br />
n.<br />
1. A position of the body or manner of carrying oneself: stood in a graceful attitude. See Synonyms at posture.<br />
2.<br />
a. A state of mind or a feeling; disposition: had a positive attitude about work.<br />
b. An arrogant or hostile state of mind or disposition.<br />
3. The orientation of an aircraft's axes relative to a reference line or plane, such as the horizon.<br />
4. The orientation of a spacecraft relative to its direction of motion.<br />
5. A position similar to an arabesque in which a ballet dancer stands on one leg with the other raised either in front or in back and bent at the knee.<br />
---<br />
Linguistically combined that gives me the following impression:<br />
awesomitude:<br />
1. Fear or dread inducing manner of carrying oneself.<br />
2. Arrogant or hostile state of mind, which is inspiring<br />
3. Oh well, you got the picture.<br />
<br />
Wrong choice of describing yourself, unless you want to tell you potential partner that you're really an lowlife kind of person who wants to put their woman down to the lowest level. (If this was too much to comprehend, "Arrogant *******" fits the bill too.)<br />
I'd dump you, before the starters of our first dinner have been served.

I'll be here all week.

I thought this post was about flirting...but you are all so funny!<br />
Thanks for the great laugh!

I'm -always- nice.<br />
<br />
Except to strippers who touch me.

Note, that would take way too long. <br />
<br />
She does seem very repetitive! <br />
<br />
Please be nice to each other!

thanks Lucky, but if anyone is sleeping on the couch it's gonna be his sorry ***. Oh wait, pull out, right. Nevermind, he's sleeping on my couch.

Are you kidding me? I can't be ******* her in the mornings. That'd take way too long. I'd miss lunch.

Are you kidding me? Who was it that said marrying you would be settling?

It's a pullout? <br />
<br />
I knew that. I mean it explains your constant oblivious quarrelling. <br />
You need a pullout couch. <br />
<br />
And then you make up in the morning, but only on sundays, wednesdays and thursdays. <br />
<br />
And every other saturday of the month.

I'm sleeping in my nice soft bed without anyone trying to cuddle me tonight. Just the way I like it.<br />
<br />
And Lexi will be dreaming about me and wishing I was there, just like she always does.<br />
<br />
Not that it matters, but my couch is a pullout.

I think one of you is sleeping on the couch tonight...and since SF cooks...

Marrying me would be awesome for you. You know it. You'd love to come live in the flyover zone.

Are you kidding me? Who was it that said marrying you would be settling?

Not to mention Lexi would never date me. I'm way too much like her father. We are just too awesome. There's no way she would survive a holiday with both of us in the same room.

I am only married to Lexi in the seventh circle of hell, which thankfully, I am currently not residing in.

LIES!!!

Oh, you two are married. Go figure! <br />
<br />
SCORE

I'm not changing any stories. You're the one who sends me love stories and confesses her love for me on skype, and goes ballistic when I take a nap because you miss me so horribly.

LOL I find it hilarious the way you change stories to show off here. We all know I'M the one who turns you down for making out.

You already said that. Can we go for something more original this time? I know you're dying for my attention but comeon...challenge me a little.

Hey, Lexi. Let's take this to IM where it won't be so embarassing for you when I turn you down for cuddling and making out.

You are awesomely oblivious, that's for sure.

Berating? I think you are getting your *** kicked up and down this comment screen.<br />
<br />
And knowing you, you love it.

Awesome is the only word in the english language that can adaquately describe me. I'd tell you how God describes me, but your head would explode from how awesome the word is.

You are sick and twisted you know that? This is not flirting. This is me berating your ***.

I think you have an unhealthy obsession with the word "awesome".

Check it out. I post about flirting and here, two girls come in and can barely keep their mitts off me. Pinch me, am I in heaven?<br />
<br />
No wait, Lexi is here. This has to be hell.

I think you have an unhealthy obsession with the word "awesome".

San francisco, always loved that place.

I can't do twister. I have a thing about strange people touching me. You can look upon SF, but you are not allowed to touch the pure awesome that is SF.

Yes, and then we'll both show off our secret tattoos and play twister. We may even ask you to join us. <br />
<br />
That is what we are hoping for, i'm sure. No doubt.

Donkey kong? We're going to play Nintendo?

That's it. You thought I was joking about an intervention. It is on like donkey kong. Personality twin or not your ego needs some serious deflating.

Wow...fighting off two chicks who desperately want a piece of SF. *shakes head* Maybe you two should battle it out. In Bikinis. In Oil. While I videotape it.

No, it's the idea of intimacy that has me closed off to the idea of intimacy. Don't go all Freudian on me woman. Don't forget we are like personality twins.

It' probably these types of circumstances that have completely closed you off to the idea of intimacy. You know I like you, SF, but not like that. We're buddies remember?

I know you were hitting on me. No need to restate the obvious. I'm just to awesome to not be hit on. Lexi can't get enough of me either. You poor girls are just going to have to cry yourselves to sleep after being turned down. So sad for you.

Obviously your ego is a defensive mechanism you use to keep people at bay. Maybe you should work on some trust exercises, like falling backwards into someone's arms, or cuddling for an hour or so at a time with someone you truly have feelings for... and are too afraid to admit it.<br />
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No, not me.

Oh Lexi...I'll cuddle with you right after I play you a love song and write you some sappy love poetry. Platonically.

Obviously your ego is a defensive mechanism you use to keep people at bay. Maybe you should work on some trust exercises, like falling backwards into someone's arms, or cuddling for an hour or so at a time with someone you truly have feelings for... and are too afraid to admit it.<br />
<br />
No, not me.

Yes, i was definitely hitting on you. <br />
<br />
Because you're old and awesome; perfect combo to settle for. <br />
<br />
I think I may have just beat your awesomeness. No, i know I just did. Just rubbin it in.<br />
<br />
=)

That's cool that you find me so irrisistible that you have to hit on me, but It'd never work out. I mean, I'm an ******* and you're a...well, you're too young for my awesomeness.

So they would be settling? <br />
<br />
=) <br />
<br />
and I guess "they" would be settling for each other too, right?

They wouldn't be settling for less. They would be settling for awesome.<br />
<br />
And I already know how to cook and clean.

Well then i guess we better start lookin for someone that likes to settle for less. <br />
<br />
That or someone that only knows how to cook and clean. <br />
<br />
=)

Yes, I do. I am made of awesome and if they can't handle that, too bad.

Your awesomitude?!<br />
<br />
c'mon, you expect someone to put up with that?!!<br />
<br />
=) <br />
<br />
Cheers!

Hopefully in 10 or 20 years I'll have found someone who can put up with me on a more permanant basis.

Are you sure you won't be singing the same song ten or twenty years from now?