Is That The Real Reason Why You Do It?

If you wish to be a good counsellor you have to learn how to detach your emotions when or if the person refuses help. Remember that people who have issues (don't we all?), I mean people in general can be selfish, and their selfishness dictates that that they should neither care or be considerate to others. I appreciate courtesy when it is given, and when it is not given yes it frustrates and even angers me at times because I am a social and emotional being, that requires the reciprocation of my peers inorder to feel some connection. But my need for reciprocation is somewhat selfish, we all are to a degree. We connect with people who we know we can have a relationship with, people that we can give and get from. However this is where counselling differs. You do not do it for reciprocation. You do it to help and then move on. And though you invest your time, your efforts and emotions, you have to learn to withdraw those things without bitterness if they are not ACCEPTED. That should be the only condition you place on the people you want to help, nothing else.

It is nice to be acknowledged, it is nice to receive a thank you. But remember this. People who are in a bad place often need more time, attention and affection than people who are healthier human beings. Do not expect an unhealthy immature being to react in the manner that a healthy mature being would. That would be a great failure on your part. Think of them as babies who are still learning how to walk. You are not the one that needs their attention, time or affection. You are the helper, giver, carer, that is your obligation. That is of course, if you really want to help. Expect nothing in return. This is a risk you take everytime you embark on this path that is helping others.