<p>I Do Like to Help Others Ve...

I do like to help others very much.  Maybe too much and it backfires, and I have just begun to wonder why.

I had a boyfriend, who I helped all day long and he pretty much slapped me it the face for it.  He once told me that I don't give or help anyone without a price.  I thought that was rude, but 3 years after the fact I have started to think about it.  I guess when I help I expect  a huge thank you, and I really never get the thanks that I want.  I hope this doesn't sound too bad.  But I guess it is.

Just recently, say 3 weeks ago, I gave my sister my car, because I haven't been using it and I was trying to be nice.  But I gave it to her/lent it to her, with rules, but not unreasonable.  A couple of days ago she was driving it and well now it needs a whole new engine.  See, backfire.   Now I need to basically sell it because I can't fix it.  Did I mention its a classic car that I love to pieces.  Oh well right.  There is no possible way she can apologize enough for this, and there was no possible way she could say thanks enough.

I need to learn to help without expecting any great thanks, and not caring about the consequeces.  I just added myself to Freecycle, and gave a beautiful bed last night.  Maybe learing how to gift unconditionally on this site will help me help others more unconditionally.  No one can truly say thank you, or you're the best, or apologize, the way that 'we' truly can be happy with.  We have to happy with ourselves is the bottom line and then then maybe we can truly 'help' others with the right spirit.  It is something that I want to be able to do in my life.