I Do Like to Help Others Ve...

I do like to help others very much.  Maybe too much and it backfires, and I have just begun to wonder why.

I had a boyfriend, who I helped all day long and he pretty much slapped me it the face for it.  He once told me that I don't give or help anyone without a price.  I thought that was rude, but 3 years after the fact I have started to think about it.  I guess when I help I expect  a huge thank you, and I really never get the thanks that I want.  I hope this doesn't sound too bad.  But I guess it is.

Just recently, say 3 weeks ago, I gave my sister my car, because I haven't been using it and I was trying to be nice.  But I gave it to her/lent it to her, with rules, but not unreasonable.  A couple of days ago she was driving it and well now it needs a whole new engine.  See, backfire.   Now I need to basically sell it because I can't fix it.  Did I mention its a classic car that I love to pieces.  Oh well right.  There is no possible way she can apologize enough for this, and there was no possible way she could say thanks enough.

I need to learn to help without expecting any great thanks, and not caring about the consequeces.  I just added myself to Freecycle, and gave a beautiful bed last night.  Maybe learing how to gift unconditionally on this site will help me help others more unconditionally.  No one can truly say thank you, or you're the best, or apologize, the way that 'we' truly can be happy with.  We have to happy with ourselves is the bottom line and then then maybe we can truly 'help' others with the right spirit.  It is something that I want to be able to do in my life.




stina51 stina51
31-35, F
5 Responses Jul 26, 2008

Help me...its too hard

Me too :-) .... The important thing about helping others is, not to do something where you choose another persons happiness over you own.
I did that when I was young and it made me very sick for a long time. But I am fine today .... And I still want to help where and when I can.
Best of luck to you Stina :-)

May I add you to my friends' list ?

I completely understand the giving without receiving thanks or being repaid. I am a generous person, almost to a fault and it bites me in the butt a lot. By the way, I did truly appreciate your loaning me the car and am horribly sorry that it blew up. I love you.

There's nothing wrong with helping people, or expecting to be thanked. It's common courtesy for someone to thank you when you help them. If you don't expect thanks and people take your help for granted, you might become a pushover. Just my two cents. :D