Im A Ex Gang Member W/ No Friends.....

I am a ex gang member with no friends... I dont know why but after i left my gang i just had a mental break down. I first joined my gang at age 11. I was not ruthless at that age. Just recently i shot and maybe killed a rival gang member. The guilt was killing me so i decide to leave. When i left i lost all respect. I droped out school. So lost a contact with the real world. I played video games toget me through the day. I never really had a girlfriend reason for that was because i was so loyal to my gang and didnt want distractions. I dont know what to do anymore im thinkn about going out but if i do i can get jumped or killed by my own. I still feel like going back to my old life but if i do then im sure i will have to shoot again. All i want is friends and i want to feel accepted. What should i do when all i know is how to gang bang?
Blankxzx Blankxzx
18-21, M
2 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Thanks for the advice...<br />
Its kinda hard making friends when im diffrent the only people that are not gangsters are rockers n i dought ill fit in with them... I will try to move with my dad but i dought he would want to. And thanks again i never thought about going bac to skool.. :)

There is more to life than just gangs. I would understand how you feel, because where I live, it's all just gangs and violence! <br />
Look for people that aren't in gangs, go to church (if you would like), don't worry about girl friends, she will come later, you still have a big life ahead of you.<br />
I would suggest:<br />
GO BACK TO SCHOOL!<br />
Try moving (I doubt it's possible)<br />
Get a job to save money to start a new life!<br />
<br />
Leave all your past behind you, ask for forgiveness and move on son. You can do it!