Walking By MyselfI’m not the biggest fan of people, to be rather frank. I prefer to be on my own than be in a large group of people and it suits me just fine though. Well, not that I won’t be social around people. But I always direct the conversation towards them or another topic when they want to talk about me. It’s just something I do. And it really does tire me out to be around people often. Being by myself is rejuvination, in a way. Those who are closest to me, I don’t always share everything with them, let alone a stranger or not such a good friend. They may know much about me, but there are still many things about me that they do not know. I’ve had so many “fair weather” friends and people who I trusted who just broke promises and purposefully did something to belittle me, that even if I know someone is a very good person and a true friend, I still distance myself. Every time someone and I become close to each other, I do something to push them somewhat away. I don’t like depending on people and not being in control of myself. As soon as I willingly let people in, I’m reminded I shouldn’t. Being away from the crowd, on my own, is safer for both them and me. I'm the girl who stands in the corner of a room and watches people have fun: talking, dancing, ect. And, I'll enjoy myself, even if it doesn't look to much like it. I don't need to be surrounded by people to have fun. *shrugs* I guess I just make sure I don't become too involved in people's lives. Knowing them, helping them, listening to them, I don't mind - I'm happy to help when I can, but just because I let someone open up to me, they musn't expect the same from me.
“I walk this empty street,
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams,
Where the city sleeps,
And I'm the only one and I walk alone,
I walk alone I walk alone,
I walk alone and I walk a….
My shadows the only one that walks beside me,
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating,
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,
'Till then I'll walk alone.”
Floydess 18-21, F 11 Responses 4 Mar 21, 2011