The Nature Conflict

I grew up, in a very poor home, in the inner city.  In my home, my grandmother raised up to 18 children at a time on her own.  She took in foster children, grandchildren, really, any children that needed a home.  For lack of space, and for my grandmother's peace of mind, she would send us outside to play.  We would participate in everything from bike riding to football in the street.  But, one day, an encounter with a tree that grew on the side of our house sent me straight to the emergency room.  I did not slam into it after pulling a prank on one of the other kids.  No.  I was simply playing hide-n-seek and I touched the tree with the palms of my hands in order to use it to get to the other side of the yard.  I then brought my hands to my face because I was tearing up and before I knew it, I was in the ER.  My eyes were the size of large boulders, they had crusted over and I never saw (even though I felt) the large needle that was injected into my arm to bring down the swelling.

My luck with plants and nature did not get much better, but my experiences around them did.  I met my God at a summer camp, surrounded by campfire, brigth stars, soft wet winds, and story telling.  I saw my first love, across a swaying emaral field in the setting evening sun.  I held the best cup of cocoa I had ever had the pleasure to drink while gazing at snow capped mountains.  The list goes on and on, but what it ultimately says is that Nature was an intrigual part of my exsistence.

However, upon attempting a garden I learned that I was allergic to soil, most weeds, all grasses, most trees, and some grains.  It was so completely unfair, because I truly do love Nature.

So, now I am forced to view it, to take it in at my own risk (which I often do), and to drink it in as often as I can.  I can't wait until it rains so I can run out and smell the clean air. I long to live in solitude on a farm house on a big pasture with a weeping willow tree.  I endeavour to sit by the side of the river and let my feet fall in the crystal waters that rush through.  Yes, I am terrified of bugs, spiders, snakes, large beastly animals, and things that sting, bite or claw (see how I keep mentioning them), but I love the places they live in.

In my perfect heaven, I will be able to walk with God, through a beautiful garden, warm and damp and perfect.  I will not worry about my hiar or the emergency room or about being bitten, and I will be able to do more in nature then just watch.

Thanks for Listening,


rrichmond05 rrichmond05
36-40, F
Mar 8, 2010