Homemade Crystal *****

While casting about for something novel and exciting to share with my wife of 20 years, I came across a sex toy/DVD catalog that arrives in the mail.

No, it wasn't "Sam and Dave's" but it was a similar name. They offered lots of ******, **** rings, merkins, and other marital aids for those who could afford them.

Most were jelly or rubber, but a few were glass or silicone ******. The price put them out of our reach.

Now, there is little doubt that a silicon ***** is the best, but some people prefer a crystal glass ***** as a mark of class and unique appearance.

Then I had an inspiration.

I hopped in the car and drove to my nearest Bigg Lotts store. For those of you unfamiliar with them, they are a discount chain that sells second rate items in quantity especially when they can buy large quantities from close-out offers from manufacturers. You can spend an afternoon wandering in these stores just looking at the novel, ridiculous, and the cheap items.  But I went straight to the plumbing/home care aisle and I found a row of plungers of various styles.

I know what you're thinking. No, it wasn't the business end of the rubber plunger that I was looking for. They came in red , blue-green, white rubber and a few other designer colors.

I reached up and pulled a half dozen down off the top shelf, and felt the clear plastic Lucite handle. Some had a minor seam running along the shaft where the plastic mold had not quite sealed, but others barely had any extraneous flaws at all. I chose one that had a bulbous end and no flaws, and carried it to check out. Only two dollars made it a deal.


At home, I wedged the handle into a vice with a wash cloth around it to hold it without marring the beauty of the clear crystal finish. I took a hack saw and sawed the handle roughly in half. There was a slight burr on the cut end of the plastic shaft, so I took a small file and removed it, making it smooth to the touch. Where it was going, I didn't want to chance  the slightest irritation. The left-over plunger end was screwed back into the rubber bowl. It made a cute addition to our bathroom, waiting for sink duty.

I took my new device into the shower with me and scrubbed the handle down with liquid soap and then gave it a good rinsing.   (Briefly I wondered if the suction end could be fastened to the tile wall to hold the *****, but then realized that end of the handle had not been molded with threads.  I dismissed the thought but it continues to buzz around in the back of my head. Someday....)

That night, while reading the sex toy catalog in bed with my wife, I introduced the topic.   I asked her if she were ever interested in trying one of those crystal ****** that they sell, and she said, "Why not? I guess we've tried just about all the rest of the materials."

After a few minutes of snuggling and rubbing, we got down to some serious foreplay, and I thought she was ready. From under the pillow, I pulled the clear ***** I had fashioned, and showed her. She was excited by it and wanted to try it out immediately. As I nuzzled on her breasts, she lubed up the shaft and inserted it. Though it was straight as a rod, she found a way to maneuver it without trouble.

"Hey," she said in mock seriousness, "this thing is better than you! It never gets soft!"

Now if only  it could be held stuck to the tile wall in the tub, she wouldn't need me at all!
studfinder studfinder
56-60, M
May 18, 2012