Hurt Them Before They Hurt Me

 I have recently realized this pattern in my life.  Whenever I start to feel that someone has the potential to emotionally do some damage I go on the attack.  I spent all of this weekend trying to get a friend mad at me.  There's no future in our relationship, as much as I wish there could be.  But I can't put an end to it yet.  So I tried to push as hard as I could to get him to tell me to F off.  He must have the patience of a saint.  

Then I started to realize that this isn't the first time that I have done this.  I'm sure its natural to go on the attack to avoid getting hurt.  Part of me is glad I didn't push him away.  But what will come next?

cassidyrose cassidyrose
36-40, F
Mar 24, 2008