My Life Getting Failure Because My Love Got Success

if u belive me then continue reading otherwise stop reading, but one thing god promiss all are true true ....

im a very very jovial and active person b4 2003 but now i lossed my beautiful life in a true love,even now also i cant forgot her, so that i need a true friend to share my past events and present feelings and recontruct my future, everyday every night i crying 4 her,i feel 4 her...,

Hi friend i am NAVEEN (31), i need true deep friends to share my feelings and my past events,
b'coz mentally i am affected so much by a true LOVE.i tried many of the ways to get friends (ex;mobile msging,net chating) but i cant get a friend all are simply just only playing, so that finally i decide to tell something about my life(just20% only) it explain my situvation clearly.

i am very very jovial character my policy is "be happy and make others happy",
my past 23 yrs of life spents with humour,comedy,joks, i dont hav smoking and drinking char nw and b4(god promiss),

this are all the small introduction about my character and my life style b4 2003, now i going to tell abt my love 2003 july 21st i meet my lover first in a function after few months we are falled in love, i loved her so much next to my mother,she also tell the same word to me, she dnt know to cook,wash,house keeping anything so that i promiss to cooking,washing,massaging(her legs),house keeping evething 4 her after marriege, at the time she filled with happy. many times(when she is alone at time there is no other person in her home) i washed her clothes and clean her toilet also, one time i drink her urine also to prove my love,one day she ask me" if u belive me i need ur thump impression on a blank 50 rupees court stamp paper" i did that 4 her, one day while washing her "M" period clothes i take the "M" in my fingers to eat and prove my deepness but she ignores b'coz it giv diseas.many of the risk i took for the time lot of my friends tells she is a fraud dnt belive her, but i dnt belive the comments,i ask directly to her abt her comments,but she tel all are rumours.

2 yrs completed with her, one day I had a chance to see her passport and her dairy at the time i get shocking b'coz she is 38 yrs old(my age 31) and onemore thing she is already married in foreign,and she hav lot lot of boys to hav sexual affair in foiegn, she is a drinker(daily)and smoker,i ask directly to her at th time she accept bcoz there is no way to escape.
at the time i said if you are a married,aged,or a postitute or a aids patient i dnt care and i dnt ignore u for that reason,but u must give a promiss that u dnt follow the lifestyle after our marriege,after that mariege u only 4 me and i am only 4 u, but she dnt giv the promiss bcoz she say in india i am only 4 u, in foriegn i hav lot of boy friends(for sexuall) so that i cant giv promiss, at the time i feel vey sad and we got depart,

even now also physically i got the depart but mentally i cant forgot her, every day i feel 4 her,evy night i crying 4 her,i hav her photos and voices in my mobile it is only the momories 4 me,i lost all my happiness in my life,i dnt know how to live. and the time of seperation i tel i dnt & i cant marry anyone so i live simple and single but she say i dnt care about ur life but i search a new boy for me. so that i want to change my place to live bcoz if i saw her with any other boys at the time defenetly i loss my mind control i will become a mental. and i dnt like to waste one girl life in the name marriege(bcoz my heart full of her how i enjoy my self with her) so that i planed to live single and simple, i feel very embarrasing to share my feelings with my known friends so that i choose net friends to share my feelings bcoz they are unknown friends, every day every minutes every second i thinking her feel her crying 4 her,i dnt know how i pass my balance life,

i had lot of dreams abt my wife and my life but i wount think it are all thrown in dust bin,nw i need true friends only to share my feelings,pls try to understand me,

i told my life situations, so that i need friend to reconstruct my life again,if u belive me then send mail to me,

i told clearly abt my 20% of life.
In my 31 yrs of life i dnt and i cnt learn which one the girls like the most, i dnt know why the girls always belive the dramatic persons 1ly, at the same time they are all denied to belive original genuine frank persons(boys). tell me how u want to prove myself, i dnt know how to prove. lot of drinkers,smokers,f___ers,frauds got nice life with good wife but why my life got damage lik that, why why the punishment 4 me, i dnt know i dnt know... im also had lot of dreams abt my life and my wife but that are simply throughed away why why ???

all my classmets,friends are all setteled in life but my life???? i dnt expect for crores of rupees and for rolls royce car, i just dream to love and live with a wife simply but now the dreams erased why? In my 27yrs of life lot of situation i met to drink and smoke but god promiss i dnt drink or smoke even one time also, but my life only like that(damaged) but all the drinkers and smokers got nice life.but onething i learned from my life that is the world is not for good persons, every day every night i crying crying.... bcoz of my life.

with the gods grace my family moderate family but i dnt having even1% of happiness,joy,peace bcoz of that love, u know one thing i helped for lot of poors and mentally affected peoples many times, i helped for some worst drunkers to change they characters (they are much more aged than me lik 34,48 lik that)eventhough there is no one to care me and cure me, my mother,father,bros,sis are there but how i share my life(love) with my family membrs, even my friends also(except one frnd) dosnt know anything abt my love, and i cant i cant..... share with my friends(known friends) bcoz lot of embarrasing situations their in my love i feel very shy to tell my love to my friends. and my friends also dnt like waste time to hear abt my love bcoz they are all setteld in life.

so that i choose net friends to share my feelings bcoz they are unknown( unknown for my surroundings)friends, in net only we share our feelings frankly without shy or fear. but anyone dnt understand me i feel 4 that.

net friends only real true friends bcoz they shows their affection ,friendship,advice even they are not showed our face,status etc .

so i choose the way to get friends and share my feelings but i trying so many times but even now also i cant get a friend,i feel abt myslf im unlucky.

for 2 reasons i dnt try to attempt sucide else i died b4 yrs. but i planed to vaccate myself from my home bcoz my parents forced me to marry but how i marry a gal i cnt i cant ... my heart full of her i cant 4got her and i dnt like to waste one girl life in the name of marrige. just i want to live single with simple.

when i see girls, hear songs,watch movies,use mobile,see lovers,eat food,drink pepsi,riding in bike,washing cloths,iron dress,hear gal voice,going to beach, see moon,stars,see brown color esteem car, see girl with bony tail hair,see gry color t-shirt that times she comes to my memory and affect me a lot by past feelings. how i live without seeing the above all things?

i took many of the risk for her, many times boys teacing her lot at the times im(with some roudy )fights against the boys(teacing fellows) for that i face some police problms also but now she forgot everything simply. i cant digest it.

At the time of depart she say "i search a new boy to roam again" at the time i feel very vey sad, few days b4 my friend(he only knows abt my love) said "i saw ur lover with a boy in a bike" when hear the word my heart stoped beating 4 some second suddenly my eyes filled with tears i cant stop tears.

no one even my enymies also dnt get life like me...

i told my situation clearly , i dnt create a story myself its all happened and happening in my my life god promiss.if u belive and undestand me pls mail me.

I need a friend to share my past events and present feelings and reconstruct my future, so that i send my life stories to many of the persons to get a true friend, please understand me and reply me, but dont play or cheat me i dnt hav strength face it.

feelings and reconstruct my future, please understand me and reply me, but dont play or cheat me i dnt hav strength face it.

i dnt want "hi" "h r u" lik that single word from u, i need more and more words from u ,u advice me ,scold me,teach me anything everything i need from u,

i want to refresh myself pls accept my friendship and mail me plzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

ok c u bye...............

i want to refresh myself pls accept me

above all true god promiss
mak2020 mak2020
26-30, M
May 12, 2012