Secret

Driving down the road wasn't easy. All the memories once more came alive. All the mistakes - lots of them were crowding his head. He couldn't focus. He was jumping from thought to thought without making any sense. Car was moving slowly. He heard rumble of all the parts. Sound was traveling through his body without mercy. He was looking outside for any signs of help. Picture after picture - all the same, Unbearable. He would kill for a smoke but it was impossible. At least for a while. Fields, houses, trees, people, more trees. It was becoming annoying. Itchy all over the place. He wanted to jump out of his body. He wanted to escape, run away. Just get out of it. "I will hang on...I will hang on," he was repeating constantly. 

"Sir, we will be home soon," said driver. "Your parents are waiting." 
"Thank you, John," he mumbled. 
"It didn't change much since you were here last time," continued John. "Your mother still looks after everything." 
"How about Lucy?" He asked. 
"She still lives in the house by the lake," replied John and continued, "Still alone all this time. She doesn't talk. She doesn't meet anybody... all after the accident."

"Hey mother!" She was standing  in front of the house covered in a blanket. She tied her hands on his neck. He became very sleepy. Everything slowed down. It was late evening. Park surrounding the house was sinking into shadow. He felt like as if he never left. It was good. He felt like a kid again - Innocent.
   
"You should see her," she said after a while.

He walked through the valley along the  stream until he reached the lake.  Her hut was located not far from there. He was calm but he felt his heart in throat.

Lucy was inside standing by the window. A small candle was burning on the table. She was looking at the lake. They were standing in silence. Moon was bouncing back at the lake.   

"I lost him," she said and added, "I lost your son."