im not sure really if reading is a healthy thing for me or not. its become a kind of obesession since childhood. its been involved in many of my breakdowns and breakups. yknow the smiths "theres more to life than books, but not much more". this is what i worry about. that i slip so easily into this fantasy world, the book or my own, that i minimize the need for reality. yes it feels good. but the subject matter gets darker and darker the more i become involved in this fantasy life. it feels like im a fake. like im living the life of books i have read and feelings i have seen. im just rehashing an old paperback classic, and trying to find my own alternative plot. i never get to the ending though.
piggygoff piggygoff
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 4, 2007

my s.o. uses cartoons and movies as a form of escapism. there are times we have to step back and figure out who we are rather than what we are applying to ourselves from outside sources. perhaps since you're not working you have time to do this - it's the perfect time actually. you'll find it much easier to figure out what you want out of life, what you NEED out of life, what you want as a job and what you NEED as a job in order to provide your life needs. it seems that once i reflected on myself and figured out who *I* truly was then i was able to make all kinds of decisions ... good decisions. i'd never been so prosperous before, so productive, so determined, so positive etc. i'd run from myself my whole life. ending that cycle was the best thing that's ever happened in my life. i wish you well with this.