Feeling The Loss Of A Good Brother

His name was Carl. He was my brother.  He was a bit of a rogue but extremely funny.  Somewhat complex as we all are, he had his fair share of demons.
At 21, he was diagnosed with hodgkins disease.  We (his family) thought he beat it.

At 40, he had a massive heart attack and was told that he was going to die.  He had tried to pull his life together after the cancer scare.  As a matter of fact, he was working out, and even biking to his job.  He was in the peak of health ...or so we thought.

After having the heart attack, the meds took a toll on him.  His once beautiful and handsome face now became thin and sickly looking.  His hair thinned out.  His beautiful brown eyes started to slightly bulge.  He looked like he came out of Auschwitz.

His family (his wife and 2 kids) became his focus in his last days.  He asked me, his sister, to please oversee the raising of his children. His kids, a son and daughter were starting to become teenagers.

His wife, a bit of an artsy personality and quite laid back, became the target of his neverending frustration regarding the disease by having to endure his outbursts of anger.

My mom and dad never believed that the heart disease was terminal.  Who as a parent could or would want to believe that?

The week before he passed his daughter had a dream where she found him laying in a fetal position on the basement floor.  That is exactly how it took place.  He had another heart attack in the basement.  He lingered in a coma for 2 days, then passed.

I think of him daily and wonder what my life (as well as that of his children) would be like if he was still here.

The holidays are especially difficult when you lose someone you love.  I hope that I will sometime see him again.  He was a good guy and he is sorely missed.

God bless you Carl.

mysweetangelbaby mysweetangelbaby
56-60, F
2 Responses Aug 1, 2010

Thank you for your loving comment. It means a great deal to me that you took the time to write something so kind.<br />
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I hope to get to read some of your responses.<br />
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Thanks again.<br />
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I very sorry for your loss and for your families. What you wrote was very moving and clear. Your brother Carl sounds like he was a quality person and one we need more of in this world. He lives on in his children and in the hearts of the ones who knew him. He is never far away.