Without The Use

I sometimes feel life without the use of substances is a tough world to live in. My words are all I now have. It's weary, gloomy, and unusual to live. Sometimes I sit in my car and watch the act of others. How can people be so happy? So outgoing and so into pointless conversations (small talk) I wouldn't say this is my story but this is my life. The life without the use, of any mood altering substance. The life without the use of emotions. The life without the use of kindness. I don't want to look at life like this, I don't want to hate, but I don't want to love either. I'm stuck, I don't know how to live. It's been months since I've smiled, it's been years since I've been happy. I can't understand the concept of life without use !!
YoungNready77 YoungNready77
22-25, M
Jan 12, 2013