"There is no I in famly"

I want what i lost back when i was younger,
sitting down with my family eating a well prepared dinner.
ridden with dysfunction and utter disappointment,
had to grow up way too fast plagued by regression.
Alone and independent walking these endless streets at midnight,
not even my own flesh and blood can give me any credit.
a gaping hole that tears open like a hurricanes eye in the ocean,
tears falling from the sky followed by catastrophic destruction.
sometimes it feels like I'm talking to walls without a fresh coat of paint,
rotting wood cracking and splintering while it continuously rains.
I want what i lost back when i was younger,
held close and watched over by the angels.
brought upon this earth for reasons unknown,
having to fight over and over again in this war.
i don't want to cry any more,
i don't want to die a little more.
i want to lay this weary heart to rest,
away from negative people who try and put me to the test.
just kept on getting up and dusting myself off after i fell,
at least when i was younger there was someone there to grab hold of my hand.

CharlieBm CharlieBm
18-21, M
Aug 17, 2014