My Story

This was pretty badly written but that's why I'm allowing it to be on the internet. If you like it and want more then message me and let me know what you think please. :)

Chapter one.
I stood staring at the objects that lay across my bed, the first was a cell phone, the next was a bottle of pills, the third was a hunting knife, and the forth was a tiny vile of liquid. I’m not sure how long I stood there, in a trance by my thoughts and considering my feelings. I knew if I took the pills it would only disrupt my vision and cause me to be void of pain and sleep, and I didn’t even want to consider the knife. That would be far too painful to try to endure. I thought about the phone. But who would I call? Everyone was out, doing Friday night stuff with their friends. I was the only one who wouldn’t go out. I couldn’t stand the thought of being out tonight. Not with the sky so clear and…
I grabbed the vile off the bed, looked at the silver liquid shining in the light, so bright and pretty. I pinched off the little cork top and shut my eyes tightly and sipped the serum, hating the taste of it. But what other choice did I have? I couldn’t just go out and expect no one to look at me. I gave up on sipping it down like a bad cold medicine and downed the whole thing. I wasn’t going to take any chances tonight, not with people I know, and love in town. I knew I didn’t have that self control thing down yet.
I stared around me waiting. As soon as it hit my stomach I knew it was going to be rough. I gasp and fell to my knees my head slumped between my shoulders and all I could do was look around and blink, and try not to let my cry’s of pain escape my lips. I knew it would be over soon. My body just needed time to adjust to the pain and let the antidote do its wonders. My heart stuttered and jerked forward inside my chest and then suddenly I could feel every cell in my body changing by the potions effects. It felt as if I had tiny needles growing from the inside out. Strange and hard to focus, but feeling much more in control I stood up slowly. My head flooded with stinging waves of relief and I opened my eyes and looked around at my familiar bedroom. Ah, yes I felt in control. I walked over to my desk and stared at the person in the mirror. The bags under my eyes had disappeared and my grimace was fading. I didn’t know what to do next. I had a new frame of mind so trying to figure out what to do was a bit of a challenge. I decided to call Alice because I knew that if I were in a tough situation that she would always be there to help me through it. We were practically sisters. The fact that we weren’t actually related I think is what brings us closer together. I grabbed the things that were still lying on the bed and threw them in one of my many junk drawers and grabbed the phone that was sitting in its cradle.
I dialed the number and listened.
She answered on the second ring.
“Hello?” her voice rang through the receiver.
“Hey Alley, it’s me, Lana. Are you busy?”
“Oh, no not really. I’m just watching tv or at least I’m trying to. It’s hard to focus on a night like this. I haven’t used any of my medicine today, but I think I might have to if I can’t keep this under control.”
“Yeah, I thought it might be the same for you too. I just took mine, and I wanted to know if you were going to do anything tonight?”
“Nope, why don’t we hangout?” she asked.
“I was hoping you would say something like that can you borrow your mom’s car to come over?”
“Nahh, I’ll just run. It’s faster than that piece of **** anyways. I’ll bring your monthly supply of antiwolf over too.” She chuckled.
“Okay.”
“I’m walking out the door now. See you soon.” She said and then the phone cut off.
I stupidly scrambled to my makeup bag and tried to make myself pretty, and before I even got the lid off of the eye liner I heard a knock at my window. I jumped up and headed for the door, and opened it. She stood half naked in the door way pulling up her pants and buttoning them, she looked up at my face and halve smiled at me. I let her in and offered her something to eat or drink but she declined.
“I need to take the anti dote right now. I feel like I’m going to burst out of my clothes if I don’t. And your house is making me edgy. I’ve never liked it.” She laughed at herself. We walked into my little bedroom and she sat on my bed pulling out a large amount of the silver liquid bottles. I was surprised at how much she had to take but said nothing. I knew that my dosage was a lot smaller because of how severe my case was. Alley had been a werewolf for almost two whole years now and of course had better control than I did. Everyone seems to have more control than I do.
I sat there staring at her she had on a black torn up tee shirt and black shorts on. Her feet were bare. She had her fists clenched at her waist and her eyes shut like she was asleep. I thought about saying something but I didn’t know what I could say.
Suddenly her phone rang. I didn’t know she had one. And it took over the silence in the room with an annoying persistence. And after it rang two or three times I assumed she was ignoring it. I thought about reaching in her pocket and crushing the stupid thing but I didn’t.
“Who do you think that was?” I asked. She opened her eyes and glared at me. I sat still, waiting for her to respond.
“Oh, you know. It was probably just Jayden” she said. Her voice sounded a bit strained almost as if she were holding back a scream.
“Are you alright Alley?”
“I guess. I just need a minute. I’ll be fine in no time.” She half smiled, then said, “Do you have any cigarettes?”
“Er, yeah.” I replied. I reached into the drawer to my left and pulled out one of the few that I kept stashed around the house. I found the lighter and lit the end of it and took the first drag. I handed it to her. She looked at me like I had done something outrageous. I felt timid at once.
“I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m just having a pretty difficult time keeping it in control tonight, I made a stupid choice by waiting as long as I did to take that damn stuff and now it’s really kicking my ***.” She confessed.
“You mean the moon is kicking your ***.” I stated. She just continued to look at me saying nothing. Then she replied, “Uh-huh.” She handed me the lit cigarette I took a drag, and flicked the ashes into the tray. There was an awkwardness that hung in the air between us it was uncomfortable and yet somehow inevitable. I hadn’t talked to Alley since the fight and she hadn’t tried to contact me so took it for granted that she didn’t want to speak after what had gone down with her and me. It was painful to think back on the memory because it was so fresh it made it hard to forget and move on from it. I knew that my instincts at the moment wanted to be a little annoyed but instead I leaned toward clinging onto someone. No matter whom it was. Alley would always be my safe harbor.
I turned now and handed her back the cigarette. She took it and asked for the ash tray. I handed it to her and put my hands in my lap. “So what do you think we could do tonight that wouldn’t be too outrageous for us to enjoy?” I asked awkwardly. “Something that involves boy’s please?” she said. “I don’t know any boy’s that are worth hanging out with. I only hang out with girls.” I said almost sadly. She laughed and then pulled her cell phone out of her tiny pocket and gazed at the screen and clicked away on the buttons. Several moments passed in silence. Then Alley blurted out, “I think I’ve got to go.” She said this while typing a message out on the phone. “My friend Jayden has been calling a sending me messages. I think he’s in trouble. I’m not sure. He’s been calling a lot” she told me. She sounded concerned and the look on her face told me that whatever it was wasn’t something I could check out with her.
“What do you think is wrong?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” She said getting up from the bed and turning to hand me several little silver vials. “Hang on to these for me will you?”
“Sure.” I said getting up to walk her to the door.
“I’ll call you as soon as I find out what’s happening” she told me before walking out the door.
I turned and went back to my room and shut the door. I wondered what could be going on with whoever this Jayden guy was. I wondered if he were a supernatural freak too. I didn’t know if that was just insanity or just me and Alley. But she and I had met because of this being werewolves connected us in a world all our own. Or so we thought. But what if that world weren’t just the two of us?
My cell phone in my pocket vibrated. That must be her calling. I pulled the little green phone from my pocket and answered it.
“Lana, you need to come down here. Jayden has been hurt. He was attacked by something. Not werewolf. It’s something else.” She said sounding serious.
“Who is that screaming?!” I asked alarmed.
“It’s Jay. Something bit him.” She whispered.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“I’m near the old cemetery downtown. But Lana, I don’t know if you should come. I mean he’s in serious pain and I don’t know how to help him. He keeps begging me to kill him. I can’t Lana, I just can’t. I won’t kill this guy. I’m not sure what’s going to happen.” She told me.
“Do you think we should move him? Maybe we could bring him here?” I offered.
“Yeah, but I’m going to need your help with that.”
“I’m coming now.” The phone was in my hand when I ran outside. I focused on my inner forces and searched in my head for the place I knew was there. A shiver ran up and down my spine and I pulled on the thoughts roughly inside my head willing them into action. I had my eyes closed one second and the next I had them open looking through my wolf eyes. I started running for the forest crushing the land and the phone underneath me. I thought of the irony of the fact that I wanted excitement before Alley had come over and that I was greatful for the dark. I knew I wouldn’t be seen by anyone. I tried to remember where the cemetery was but I had actually forgotten the location. I started to focus on Alley and her view of where exactly she was, searching for the link between our pack mind and when I saw it I turned and headed back looping toward the nearest street. It was a Friday around midnight so the roads where clear. I ducked back into the trees and slowed to a walk and stopped at the forests edge. Peering across the street from within the forest I looked at the old cemetery. It looked vacant. I thought about changing into human form so that I could try to find where they were. I stepped out of the forest and into the road. It would have been pretty scary to see me as I was right now. I wondered if Alley could hear that I was here. Should I change yet? Well I was supposed to be in a hurry right? I liked being in this form though. So different was it to see through my wolf eyes. The night was black but I could see every single thing that surrounded me like the purplish blue fog that clung to every molecule of the grass and trees. I started walking down the little gravel road the led to the grave stones. I took a step and pulled down from inside myself changing forms. It felt like putting air into a balloon whenever I changed back to human.
I looked down and hoped that no one would see me naked. But what were the odds of someone coming to visit a loved one at this time of night? I had seen an old shed near the far back end of the lot. I jogged towards the door thinking of how I could make my naked appearance known to Alley. What good would I do being here? I wanted to be a wolf again. It was so nice not to have to worry about clothes as a wolf. Being human irritated me. I walked to the little shed seeing a faint light cast in through the key hole of the old looking door and lock. It was like seeing some old fashioned thriller movie. I waited by the door. I heard someone get up and walk over to the door. I knew it was Alley because I caught her familiar scent through my nose. The door opened and her face alarmed me. She stood in the light and tossed me a big sweat shirt to cover myself with I grabbed it and through it on while I zipped it up she still stood staring at me with the strangest expression. She looked annoyed and yet completely alarmed and confused all at the same time. “Why did you take so long?” she finally spoke in a low voice.
“I forgot where it was.” I admitted with defeat. She looked impatiently back at the figure on the little cot inside.
“Come in, come in.” she said urgently. What the hell was I supposed to do? I just walked through the door and then heard her sigh and shut and bolt the door behind me. I looked at Jayden’s figure as I crossed the room. He opened his eyes and said nothing. I didn’t know if he had been sleeping or was just dying.
“What exactly happened?” I asked her. There was a small stool to sit on. I didn’t take it. I knew if I sat I would deffenatly be showing too much skin to this new stranger.
Jayden’s features were immobile and his face went slack like he was too weak to keep them up. While his face rested I realized how beautiful he was. With brown hair swept across his forehead I could tell he was one of those guys who really had nice hair looks. I wondered what the hell he had been doing here in the first place to even get attacked.
“He doesn’t remember. And he’s dying. I don’t know what to do. What should I do Lana?!” She nearly screamed at me. I wasn’t so alarmed by her tone. I thought about what he needed.
“Get him some water and something to eat.” I answered after a short deliberation. He looked drained and very weak. I knew my answer was stupid. She was probably going to remark that she had already done that.
“I hadn’t thought of that.” She replied. “I’ll go find him something.” I said. She stood up from the stool. “No!” she stopped me. “I want to go. You stay here with him.” She said.
“Why?” I asked. She looked like she was really thinking hard on something. I wondered what it was. “I’ll be right back.” She said. “Close and bolt the door behind me will you?” she asked. I stood staring in the doorway seeing her take her clothes off and sprint towards the road she jumped into the air and morphed into a horse sized red wolf. I couldn’t see her do that and not be mesmerized by how she did it. It was like seeing magic happen in real life. Like seeing something that disappears and reappears without break.
Mechanically, I turned and shut the door and bolted it. I looked to where Jayden lay unmoving. I walked to the stool and sat there with my legs closed. I was glad the jacket I was wearing was long. From the scent of it I knew it must have been his. I didn’t know what he would think if he saw me in it.
Slowly his head turned from the wall towards where I sat. His nostrils flared and his head lifted, like he smelled something. His lips started to curve at the corners of his full lips. I started to worry about what had been happenening in side his head. He seemed like he wasn’t hurt anymore. I didn’t see a wound or even a mark on his perfect skin, he looked cold and very pale and yet somehow still tan. I listened for his heart beat and caught it with my ears. It was beating very fast like a humming birds wings. Thump. Thump. Thump. The artery was contracting too fast. I don’t know how I knew that that was a very bad thing, but I did. I listened and watched him breathing. His lungs barely moved. He seemed to be resting his eyes. I thought about speaking but listened instead to his heart.
In my mind I stepped back and looked at what was happening trying to get a perspective on the scene before me. I realized with a snap judgement that this man was dying and yet being born at the same time. I also realized fleetingly that his heart was going to stop a second be for it did. With a shocking jolt he sat up right sucking in air like he had been under water for too long.
“Who are you?!” he asked whenever he looked up at me. “Calm down. It’s alright. I’m Lana, Alley sent me to watch you.” I replied to him. His face instantly changed from outraged to calm and he sat back on the cot with a soft movement. He had been so swift in his movement that it looked blurred. I sucked in the air through my nose loudly and said “Breath. Everything is going to be just fine.” I told him honestly, though I didn’t actually know what the **** to do.
He smiled at me with the brightest white smile I think I had ever seen. “Why are you in my jacket?” he asked. I was distracted brought out of the deluge of his eyes. “Er, that’s a long story. You see,” I hesitated, then said “I’m sort of naked under here and I don’t have anything else to wear.” His eyes bright green, widened with surprise. He looked down at the shortness of the shirt. I think I blushed or coughed from the awkwardness. His features were distracting me. I couldn’t not look at him.
“I’m really thirsty.” His hand was suddenly at his throat. “Alley went to get you some water and food.” I told him. He grimaced. “I don’t want anything to eat. I’m just thirsty.” He moaned the last word. I heard footsteps outside Alice must be back. I stood up still looking at Jayden’s perfect face. He sat on the cot and was motionless like a statue. His brown hair whipped across his nose and his eyes looked blank. I didn’t know what to think. As I headed towards the door to unlock it I could hear something sloshing like liquid. I opened the door and peered out into the dark. Alice stood with a two large gallons of red liquid in her hands and as I quickly assessed that she was nude I looked away.
“Take these please” She said. I took them and with a jolt of revulsion realized that the red liquid was human blood. It smelled like salt and copper. “What the **** is this Alice?” I asked. I was in shock. Why would she bring him blood? “You don’t know what I saw when I found him Lana, he was in a state of pure craziness. He kept screaming and only when you got here did he calm down. I wanted to try something. This blood came from two bums I saw in town. If this doesn’t do something for him I don’t know what will.” She said. “How could you come up with an outrageous idea like that Alley?” I asked still outraged.
“I don’t know.” She whispered. I was extremely bewildered. I felt like I could hear every living thing around me. Alice had a strange expression on her face as she came through the threshold. I followed behind her. She turned to lock the door behind me. “What do I do with these?” I asked. I sat both of the jugs down on the stool and looked at her. “Hand me one, and give me that goblet beside the cot.” She said. I had been so obsorbed by Jayden and his beauty that I didn’t even notice my surroundings. The walls were brick and the little cot looked out of place. Behind the foot of the cot there was a glass goblet that had a movie title on it. I bent down and grabbed it then handed it to her. “Jayden, we’re going to see if this will help your throat. And if it doesn’t or if you don’t want to try it then you don’t have to.” She said sweetly. “I’ll try anything.” He said desperately. I leaned against the wall feeling in the way while Alice popped off the lid on the first jug and poured the blood into the cup. I felt uneasy. Like this wasn’t supposed to happen. Somehow it seemed too wrong to just let this happen but I said nothing. I felt the deep connection to Alice and I knew it was because we were sisters of the same wolf pack.
Alice only filled the cup half way and slowly handed it to him. With curious eyes he took the cup from her with both hands and held it under his nose smelling it. His eyes closed and his lips parted and he sipped at it. What happened next was cataclysmic. His intake of breath quickened and he drained the glass in a fast motion. He sat the cup beside him and put his hands to his head leaning forward he screamed with a gurgling hiss. His throat looked like it was going to expload from the way his veins wriggled inside the necks muscle and tissue. Alice sat waiting on the stool and then grabbed his wrist trying to pry it off of his head. “Jayden, what’s wrong?” she asked. Jayden looked up suddenly with a strange look in his eye. “Give me more. I want some more.” He said. Alice grabbed the jug and he snatched it right from her grasp. I thought about how odd it was. What was happening to this man? He was obviously getting better because his throat relaxed and his skin tone looked like it was getting darker. The strange part was that Alice was letting him chug the blood straight from the bottle. I wondered what she would do if something were to go wrong with her experiment. I would of course try to kill him. I had to protect Alice. She was the leader. I couldn’t function without her guidance. “Ah, I feel so…” Jayden trailed off and turned his head in my direction as if he were acknowledging my presence for the first time. “Lana, is it?” he asked. I looked back and forth like an idiot before answering him. “Yeah,” His face distracted me to the point of madness. I wasn’t used to feeling this disoriented and I was pissed that I couldn’t think straight.
“Would you bring me that other gallon of blood please Lana?” Alice asked me. I handed it to her and she poured more blood into the cup. “Please only drink one glass this time. I don’t want you to drink it so fast this time.” She spoke to him as if he were a small child. I wondered how Alice knew what she was doing. Jayden nodded once and took the glass from her. He took a swig and set it on the table next to him. I was getting annoyed. How long was I supposed to be here? I felt awkward and stupid from the nudity. I thought about how fast Jayden’s heart had been going before. I listened for it now. All I heard was Alice’s heart beat and my own. Both beating exactly in the same rhythmic way. But there was only silence from Jayden’s. I became a statue with confusion and fear. Something clicked in place inside my head and I saw for the first time a new site from inside my brain. It was like someone had flicked on a light bulb inside me. I looked at Jayden’s face. His eyes were smoldering like green fire. He stared back at me with wonder in his heart. I realized my back had straightened and I was walking towards him. I sat on the end of the little cot. The silence in the room wasn’t filled with awkwardness for once. And I thought about why that might be, what could have happened that would make everything so much different than it had been earlier today. It felt like my world had been shifted. Like there were plates that were gaining friction, movement.
I glanced at the goblet with the blood in it and then back at his eyes. He was still staring at me with that expression of wonder. I needed to sleep. I felt so out of it that I could have sworn I heard Alice and Jayden both talking except their lips never moved. It seemed like they were telling me something or I was picking up on some sort of frequency that seemed to emanate from their very hearts. Alice’s heart told me she wasn’t herself. Though she acted strange almost all the time this time was different. Jayden’s heart was the one I waited to hear, his heart, although did not beat, was strangely alien to me. He was so different from me and Alice it was like we were opposites. I read sadness in his heart and I wondered why. I cleared my head trying to get out of the down pour of whatever was happening inside me. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
“What is it?” Alice demanded hissing at me.
“I don’t know. My head doesn’t hurt but something is changing inside it.” I told her. I didn’t know how to phrase anything and wondered if they would think I was mad. Maybe I am going mad.
“What do you mean?” Jayden said taking my hand with both of his. I tried to look away from his eyes but couldn’t. I sat transfixed by everything in the room. I was frozen with some sort of knowledge that things were in a state of dangerous change and that I was the only one who knew this. I didn’t know how long I sat without speaking but it must not have been very long because my heart only beat twice and then I thought about my answer.
“I’m fairly sure that I’m just now developing my internal gifts so to speak.” I told them. They were probably clueless as to anything that went on at all but I continued.
“Jayden, do you remember when you asked me why I was in your sweat shirt and I told you it was a long story?” I asked and then continued without glancing away from his emerald eyes. “well, here’s the story. I’m a werewolf and so is Alice. We’ve been wolves for about a year now and we don’t know how or why our transformations happened but they did. We’ve grown accustomed to this new lifestyle and we love being what we are now.” I told him honestly.
I wish I could know what he was thinking. I focused on my hearing and felt the warmth emenating from Alice’s body. She wasn’t even blinking when I read her face. I focused on her heart beating, still in sync with my own. Then I turned my head back in Jayden’s direction listening or rather seeing with my mind what his heart wanted and felt. His heart was silent but it still had so much life and love to give and I started to get worried about why this was. Instead of jumping to a conlusion that he was a demon or something horrific I decided to search with my head to find the answer to his strange silent heart. Suddenly I could see every single area that held a love connection to both of the hearts in the room. I did not see my own though. I felt more in control of the room as I saw this and with seeing every string that held or didn’t hold their hearts I knew that if I wanted to do so, I could make both of them fall madly in love with me. I was scared of this ability and I tried to ignore the god like feeling that held my chest up high. I was no god. I was no god. It was silly to try to think that I had some kind of control over what or who people got to love. But I knew that I could if I wanted to make someone obsessively fall in love with me. I brought the vision of the possibilities that their hearts read to me inside my head. I saw every possible move that I could force onto them. It was like seeing a guide, or a map. I only focused on Jayden’s map and saw the road that led to a new path, one that his head knew nothing about, I decided on what I wanted to do. I focused on the idea that I wanted this person in love with me. Not madly, but just to love me the way no one else could. I saw in my head the map to his heart and saw that I had my own tiny pathway that was clouded with confusion and wonder, I also saw that I could widen the path into a paved road if I wanted to. I widened the path making it come into clearer focus and added around it a little side walk that was the lust of his love.
I shook my head feeling dizzy from the high of my power. I watched Jayden’s face. His eyes weren’t on mine and he still had my hand in his own. I looked down at his lap and at the hands that were in his own. His eyes turned unfocused and I worried for a second that I did something wrong. What if my little experiments had gone horribly wrong? What would I do then?
Jayden sucked in a huge breath of air and turned to look into my eyes with a new expression. His eyes looked warmer and he smiled with new knowledge. Only I could have seen this change. Alice still sat there motionless and looking confused.
“You both are wolfs?” He asked.
“Yes, and you drink blood so don’t even think about telling us that we’re the crazy ones.” I said and Alice and Jayden looked at each other and laughed. I hoped that Alice would be normal again. The sun was starting to rise and I thought about what that might mean.
“Alley, we need to leave soon. We shouldn’t be here.” I said. Alice nodded and stood up.
“Wait, what am I supposed to do with him?” She asked. I stood up and looked down at his boyish face with one of my hands in his.
“He can stay in my room.” I said without really thinking it over. Alice looked at me with suspicion.
“What are you going to do when he kills someone for their blood?” she asked me. I wasn’t sure what I would do. Maybe I could make his heart hate human blood and make him only love to be with me and drink my own blood and hunt animals with me.
“I’ve got it covered Alley.” I told her sternly. She looked at me and then said, “Fine. It’s your problem I guess. I’m going to do some searching.”
“What are you going to look for?” Jayden asked her politely. His voice was very sweet and silky. His accent sounded almost Scottish but I wasn’t certain. He saw me staring at him out of the corner of his eye and turned to smile at me. I almost blushed but remembered my powers. I blushed from the guilt that I felt.
“I’m going to see if I can find what attacked you. It’s important for you to know that we don’t take it lightly that there is something or someone out there now,” she paused gesturing to the forest around us. We had come out through the metal shed and were standing in the little cemetery were the forest surrounded us except for the road. The sun hadn’t come up yet but I could feel the time passing as the light got less and less purple and more grey with the sun’s rising. It had to be around four thirty in the morning. Alice continued as she let her hand drop and continued, “That is attacking innocent people and leaving them to die. It goes against the grain letting things like that happen and I believe that Lana and I are wolfs because we are meant to protect those around us.” She looked at me then, her eyes looking fierce and blue. Her long red hair shook out behind her. Jeez, it must have been past her waist now. I wondered why she always kept it so long. I liked her better with short hair. It suited her more.
“Alright, but you need to check in with me every couple of hours okay?” she said. I just nodded and then she loped for the forest. Alley jumped over the fence of the cemetery and instantaneously it seemed exploded into a huge wolf. She stopped in the middle of the road and looked back at me. Her big black eyes seemed to bore down on me and Jayden. She shook out her fur letting her torn pieces of clothing fly off of her. It wasn’t like her to forget that she had been in clothes but I knew that Alice didn’t like to waste them like that. She must have had a lot on her mind. I blinked and she was gone. I turned my head and saw Jayden’s eyes so wide that I had to laugh.
“It’s really something isn’t it?” I asked him chuckling.
“I can’t understand it. How did she do that?” he asked sounding puzzled. I sighed.
“We’re both something that isn’t human. We don’t know how this happens, it just does.” I told him honestly.
“I’m feeling strange Lana. Can we go somewhere?” he asked suddenly. I grabbed his hand and he grasped it tightly.
“Ouch!” I yelled. He was hurting me. My hand was held in his so tightly that he crushed the bones in all four of my fingers.
“Damnit Jayden let go! Stop! You’re breaking my hand! Ouch!” I roared. I yanked my hand with all my force away from him. I hissed under my breath at the pain. Immediately I straightened out my crunched fingers making them pop back into place the pain receded as soon as I did this. My hands were shaking so violently that my shape quivered and the jacket nearly ripped down my back. I tried to calm myself to ask him what the **** was wrong with him. The sun was looming near the horizon line and I stared at Jayden with anger clearly on my face.
“I feel so weak and yet so strong at the same time. I’m sorry that I did that to your hand but I didn’t realize I had grabbed it so hard.” He said truthfully. I thought about what he’d said. I couldn’t make sense of his words. He felt weak and at the same time he felt strong? I thought about the blood he had drunk earlier. What if he needed more? Would that help? Could that help him right now because he was attacked by some sort of creature?
“Can you tell me about the attack?” I asked him. I wondered if he would catch onto what I was trying to ask him to tell me. He looked at my face for the first time. He sighed and said, “I don’t remember. I only remember being in the car with my brother and wanting to visit my parents the next thing I know I’m locked in there and someone is in the corner of the room and I feel them breathing down my neck and all the while I’m yelling for Marshall to stop messing with me and to let me out.” He paused and looked away trying to hide the fear in his heart. I felt it, the ache that his heart was going through as he continued speaking, “I hoped maybe he had ran away, that way he wouldn’t have heard me screaming, and went to get help, or just got safely home to be away from this monster that had locked me in there bleeding to death and trying to call the only person I thought could help me; Alley had met me at one of her friends funerals a few years back and I knew from talking that she would answer the phone. But when I had called and called and called again, there was no one to answer the phone. I left her message after message hoping someone would finally get me out of here. After the third or fourth time I gave up. Too weak to try to move but not weak enough to get up I started to get up from the ground and after I did I walked almost like a zombie,” He laughed at himself and continued the same sentence, “and opened the door. I stood outside the shed looking for something, anything, to help me quench this empty weak almost dead feeling inside my body. I started to dry up inside my throat leaving a dry aching inside every part of my body right down to my fingertips and toes. I didn’t know what to do. Soon after that Alley came sprinting through the forest and ran right over to me. She was like a ghost with the way she moved over to me and scooped me into her arms and had a cot in the same instant. She was so beautiful to me that I nearly fainted with surprise.” He told me all of this with the weakest expression to his features. I wondered what was going on inside of him that was making him like this. It annoyed me beyond the point of dealing with. I was ready to kill him if I didn’t get the answers I wanted. Fed up I finally just asked him bluntly, “Do you need more blood?” His eyes had a glint of recognition when I said the last word.
“Yes, I think so. But what if I go crazy? I don’t want to start killing innocent people. I don’t want to be a monster, or turn into one I should say.” He said.
“Yes, but what if drinking some would help you gain some strength? I bet I could help you do that.” I said and I grabbed his hand hesitantly and watched his eyes for any sudden jolt of emotion to make him upset like before. He followed my expression with a curiosity. I smiled showing my teeth. His eyes looked at my exposed wolf teeth. I lifted his wrist with mine and pulled back the sleave of the huge sweat shirt I wore and bit into my own wrist. Blood spirted into my warm mouth and I took a gulp of my own blood. I felt strange but I went with it. Putting my wrist in his out stretched ice cold hand and pressed my wrist into his mouth made me sigh with pain. He bit into my flesh again and I felt his fangs sucking and biting down on the main artery of my wrist. I waited trying to heal and listen to his heart. It began to thump roughly with my own and I wondered if we were connecting because of my blood. We were connected in that instance through the blood I gave him to nourish his body and he was connecting to me with his venom coated fangs. They only became more painfully strong as his mouth gained enough of the saliva like venom to fill his mouth entirely. A tiny voice inside my head asked me why I wasn’t stopping this. I yanked my wrist from his mouth and then unzipped the jacket that was on my back and let it fall to the ground around my feet. His head was thrown backward as he was licking the blood of his lips and blood stained teeth. The fangs sucked back into their normal shape and he looked down at me standing there butt naked. His face was startled and he bent to pick up the jacket to make a wall to hide me from his view. I laughed and stepped back a few feet turning to run across the road and have him follow my lead. He peeked out from behind the wall jacket and I yelled, “Catch me if you can.” I laughed and then untied the leash that was caged inside my existence. I was suddenly on all four paws as I ran playfully back to where Jayden stood frozen with fear and dropping the jacket.
“You’re so stunning I can’t think straight.” He told me embarrassed by having to admit this out loud to a giant wolf. I tried to use my ‘guide’ on his heart to read what his mind told him to do. I growled at him. What is he thinking? The only thing I could read was that his heart was now faintly beating in rhythm with my own strangely. I pondered why and then shook out my fur with a shrug and wagged my tail back and forth whining at him. I nudged his hand.
“What is it?” He asked me. We needed to get going. I wanted to head to my house as soon as possible. Why hadn’t I told him that before I changed into a wolf?
“We need to go?” He asked me curiously. I shook my head up and down.
“Alright well lets go, I’ll follow you.” He said. And I took off towards the west, I didn’t wait to see if he could keep up. I wondered if he would be able to run as fast as me. But then I heard him coming up from behind me and I could smell his scent in my nose. I guessed he was following me because he didn’t know the forest as good as I did. I was surprised that he could keep up with me as fast as I was running. I thought about his attack. I didn’t like the story he’d told. It made me uneasy suddenly that I might not be the only kind of monsterous creature in the forest anymore. As soon as we made it to my back yard I changed forms. I felt strangely at ease with my nudity and he tried to look away but I could see him staring when my head was turned. He wasn’t as attuned as I was to the sound of his movements. I led him to the door of my house and opened it letting him in. I heard him laugh quietly from behind me.
“It’s a good thing you don’t have any neighbors.” His voice sounded like chiming bell tones. I led him into the bedroom and shut the door behind me. I thought about how glad I was that I lived alone at the moment. Having a roommate would bring a lot of tension and awkwardness in the house.
“Sit down and I’ll go put some clothes on.” I said pushing him down onto the end of the bed with one hand. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down on top of his body.
“Ugh what are you doing?!” I huffed. His eyes tried to hold mine but I turned my head in the other direction. He grabbed my chin then, tight in his hands and pulled my face closer to his lips. A thrill of electricity shivered down my spine when his cold sweet cinnamon breath blew into my mouth. A sigh escaped my lips from the force he used to pin me to his hard chest. I felt trapped against him and there wasn’t a single place on my body that wasn’t touching him. His ice cold lips startled me. I was so warm his lips felt like they were melting against my own. It was weird and different.
“Wait, please.” I said. He stopped at once and opened his eyes. I smiled at him as he waited for my answer.
“I’m not ready to do this yet.” I told him. His face seemed to frown at the tone of my voice.
“Alright” he said. I rolled over onto the bed next to his body and jumped on the balls of my feet and then flipped off the bed standing in front of my dresser full of clothes. I grabbed my sports bra and threw on my grey sweat pants. I moved to the closet and put on a plain black tee shirt and I turned and stared at the floor in Jayden’s direction. He sat motionless on the edge of the bed with an innocent expression stamped on his face. His eyes blazed into mine with a brilliant glow and I couldn’t look away and yet I knew I probably should. It was alarming to look at him with his eyes blaring in this new strange way into my own. I hadn’t moved an inch while all of this took place and when I had realized this I fractured and moved swiftly closer to where he still sat with his eyes glued to mine. I reached out without thinking and stoked his cheek with my fingertips. As soon as my mind registered the prickly ice cold of his skin I jerked my hand back to my side and tore my eyes from his with all my self control. I exhaled with a loud gust and thought about what had just happened to me. Had I given him this glowing in his eyes from messing with his heart before? Was he in love with me? Or am I really that delusional? I turned back to look into his eyes one more time before I thought of anything else. His green iris’s glowed almost fluorescently into mine. I decided it was time to leave the room and be away from him. I don’t know if fear was making me move backwards to the door or if it was just pure instinct but before I knew the answer I was standing outside watching the pink sunrise from the clouds. I looked down and saw the old coffee pot full of sand that was the outdoor ash tray for smokers. I thought about the pack inside the house and sighed. How could I still like these things? I mean nothing had changed when I had become part of Alice’s pack. Everything was maddeningly normal and boring, it was almost disappointing really. It was like it was before but the only thing that had changed really was my acceptance of life and being able to be myself for once. I looked down and saw the pack of cigarettes in my right hand and the lighter in my left. I flicked the lighter and lit the tip of the long Virginia slim and inhaled. The long skinny cigarette looked very strange between my two fingers and I thought about how inhuman I had felt all night until I had done something as simple as lighting a silly little cigarette.
The sky was a cloudy pink and was soon blossoming into brighter colors of light yellow as the sun started to make its full appearance. I thought about Jayden’s strange face. Could I have imagined him? No, I wasn’t that imaginative. He must be real. But how else could I cope with his strangeness? Being insanely imaginative was much easier to assume than actually trying to cope with my reality. I was so caught up in the thoughts that clouded my head like fog that it took me a minute to realize my cigarette had gone out. I murmured, “Damnit.” I flicked the lighter to relight the full cigarette and tried to imagine what Alice was up to right now. I wondered if she should have been back by now. I tried to relax my tense stance by the glass door and went to sit on the porch swing. I rested my head on the neck pillow and closed my eyes, trying to imagine my pack’s mind. I thought about the look in her eyes right before she had disappeared into the forest. Her eyes seemed to be the same deep green but they had looked slightly different for some reason the last time I looked into them. The light that glinted from the mental image of Alice’s wolf eyes seemed to brighten and then evaporate. I could only see the red from the sun underneath my eyelids and I yawned and didn’t think much on anything after that.
***
Only when I realized that I was dreaming did I realize that I was asleep. I looked around me at the clear star filled night. I was in the cemetery and I wasn’t alone. Fog and mist seemed really thick and clung to the grass and grave stones surrounding myself and whoever was with me here. I whirled round and round and tried to run forward but when I would put out one of my feet and take a step nothing happened. It was like walking on a treadmill. I started to yell out for someone to help me move forward but all I heard was silent growling and breathing. The breath and the growls got closer and closer. I stopped trying to escape and stood frozen holding my breath. I felt the hair standing up on my neck and then a shiver of some emotion surged down my spine and made my belly feel warm and hard. I was utterly terrified by the dream and yet utterly transfixed with excitement of the vivid detail of it all. It seemed more real to me than when I was awake. I turned towards the ice cold breathing and took a step in the direction of the creature. I heard it growl but then as my foot moved towards the mystery I found that I could actually move towards it. I was human in this dream because I couldn’t see anything other than the stars above our heads. I looked up and saw the moon was full and blood red. I was impatient with my strange dream and needed to find out what the growls and cool sweet breath was coming from. I lifted my arms towards the creature and felt a pair of icy hands enclose my own. I stood straining my focus to see who or what this person was but I saw only darkness and the creature was moving closer to my body until we were so close I could feel the hardness of his bare chest against my own and his cool breath blew in my face causing me memory loss and confusion. I shook my head in the dream and tried to ask “what are you?” to the frighteningly amazing creature that I had in my arms. When he heard my voice he made a sighing sound like purring in the back of his throat and pressed his cheek against mine feeling the difference and loving my weakness. I feared that this dream would never end so fed up, I tried to turn our bodies in a different direction to try to see the face of the mystery man or angel in my hands. As we turned the light from the moon suddenly struck me with mind and body pains and I healed over the person in front of me. The strange and horrifying realization wasn’t the fact that the creature had been Jayden all along; it was the fact that I couldn’t move my limbs though they felt like white hot iron being molded and shaped into something completely different and new. Jayden held me in his arms with a drunken look in his blindingly bright blood red eyes. He was cradling my body in his arms while my shape began to blur here and there and each time a part of my body blurred or shook it felt like something crushing every bone in my body. The pain of all of this was making me feel like I was in a bath of warm salt water and acid. I wriggled and quivered in Jayden’s statutes arms. The spot light from the moon was blinding me and I growled and hissed in Jayden’s arms. The brightness somehow was the sorce of the pain. And I knew I might feel better inside. As soon as I made that realization my eyelids snapped open and I was freed from the nightmare.
I sat up straight on the swing and realized it was nighttime. The moon hung in the summer night sky too brightly. I felt so stupid for falling asleep outside and groaned from the paralyzing weakness that the moon always provided for me. I could endure it but I was happier when I didn’t have to. Alice say’s she thinks the moon’s brightness is what makes us and that the pain we receive from it is our birthright and that we need to feel the pain of what we are and that the moonlight will make us better stronger wolves. I’m not so sure though because I can’t imagine trying to suffer through the pain of it for even one night. It’s horrible.
I sat up expecting to get up from the swing and go inside where it was safe. I looked down and realized I wasn’t sitting on the swing. I was lying on top of Jayden? His arms were wrapped securely around my small waist. It seemed as though he had grown since the attack. So many things were strange and I couldn’t sort out anything in my head that seemed normal. What had happened? How could I have fallen asleep for so long without realizing the time passing or even Jayden’s breathing? I had been studying Jayden’s muscular body for so long that I forgot that I was supposed to be angry at him for not waking me up and for moving me in this awkward situation. When I finally searched his face for any signs of being awake I froze with embarrassment realizing his eyes were on me. He had seen me staring at his beauty and I felt beyond embarrassment. I was humiliated. I was still uneasy from the moon and thought about the silver liquid that I would have to take to make this pain cease so that I could rest easy without nightmares. The swing was one of those patio furniture that was always outside and always comfortable. But I felt sick in the strangest way. I knew he was waiting for me to say something but I couldn’t find my voice. Standing up and hurrying inside to the location of the potion. I needed it again tonight. My need for this potion was getting out of hand.
I reached the bathroom and turned on the light and shut the door. I didn’t look in the mirror for fear that I might change shape from stress. I opened the mirror cabinet and saw the normal looking human things and pushed them out of the way to reveal a hidden door where I hid most of the supply. I grabbed three palm sized bottles. I popped off the tops to the first one and guzzled it down. Not pausing to think I grabbed the second one and did the same. I could feel the pain being knocked out of me and knew that my breath was too. I really struggled with the third bottle but only got half of it down before I choked on it and coughed so violently I was surprised I didn’t see blood. I bit my tongue to stop me from a scream and I tasted blood. I had to drink so much more than before but it was necessary for the self control that I needed.
Trying not to panic I collapsed to the floor of the bathroom. My face hit the checkered tile with a loud clap and I closed my eyes. The world was pain free for once and I felt nothing. I was relieved by the happiness I felt from taking so much. It seemed to erase my embarrassment and melted away all of my stress and confusion. I was simply living completely in the moment.
I tried to open my eyes and blink but they were as heavy as weights so I just kept them closed. I seemed to be in a state of neutral consciousness. My body felt dead and yet my thinking was perfect. I started to worry about over doses. I didn’t know if it were possible to over dose on an anti-werewolf-dote but I knew that nothing was impossible. My mind seemed to have the control at the moment so I thought about calling for Jayden to help me up.
That’s when reality hit like a tsunami. I groaned and my whole body shook forward on the ground. My insides felt like they were boiling with hot lava. I heard a strangled sound escape my throat and I tried to breathe without choking but I tasted the inside of my mouth. A roll of nausea took over my senses and I vomited blood and silver liquid.
My eyes shut and slipped off the cliff and was engulfed by the black waters of oblivion. I did not resurface.

magenxmajestic magenxmajestic
22-25, F
May 24, 2012