OR . . . "How I Got Pigtails for Father’s Day"   Check It Out,

Those of you who've checked out my profile have seen my entry on the "I LIVE IN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE" experience group.  Well, in all fairness to my wife that's not entirely true.  The fact of the matter is she IS going through some kind of menopause weirdness and while it endures I'm not getting very much - to the point of distraction - but I understand this is not her fault, that its something out of her control and so I'm willing to "take the situation in hand" and DEAL with it.  The dry spells can go as long as a couple of months these days but when she DOES eventually "put out" (and she always comes through for me) it's well worth the wait.
Having said that, there’s something I wish to explore here . . . let me expound on the theme of the 5 Ws that go into my sex life.  What I need here is the female perspective to tell me I’m not a total crazy pervert or whatever. 

Like I've said before I'm happily married, straight, perfectly secure in my sexual identity as a hetero male, with all the normal lustful desires, right?  I love women, females, broads, dames, wenches, girls, chicks, and members of the opposite sex..   As far as the kind of visual stimulae that we males require; I appreciate oggling a naked woman in all her glory just as much as the next man.  For what it’s worth I prefer mature women over the eighteen-to-twenty-something crowd, any day of the week.    

Now maybe this sounds bizarre, so here goes: if there’s any sort of predominant theme or preference going, I’d have to say I have this sort of kinky hang up about older women wearing their hair up in pigtails. Now DON’T GET ME WRONG HERE: I have NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in pre-pubescent teenyboppers ! ! !  The kind of sickos that get into that scene need to be taken out and horsewhipped to death ! ! !    

I like my women fully developed, with full breasts, round hips, shapely legs and radiating the kind of sexual self-confidence that comes with experience. It’s just that to me, when a fully mature beautiful woman in her forties or fifties, has her hair done in pigtails – well, she’s making a DEFINITE statement. Maybe it’s the complete contrast involved, the total dichotomy of it all; it’s almost like she’s breaking taboo.  It’s like she’s telling the world that she's being naughty and she wants to play.   What do you think? Seems like a harmless enough kink, what's the big deal, right?

Now, I have openly shared this fantasy with my wife; she just thinks I'm a typically crazy perverted male with a case of the middle-aged hornies.  I’m beginning to believe she might be on to something there.    Unfortunately she refuses outright to cater to my pigtail kink - "Not no, but **** no!" – she seems to feel that this is degrading somehow, that it makes her into some kind of a sex object – now hold that thought for a moment.

Now, we’ve been married for almost fourteen years and the years have been good to my wife.  She works hard at her job as a potter and the physical side of it; the heat of her studio and the sweat and pounding clay all day, it really pays off.  She’s the same weight as the day we got married, only somehow her boobs seem to be bigger; I distinctly remember her as a 34C and these days she’s a 36D.  They look good, they don't sag or droop although she's more comfortable in a larger bra - those daintly little scalloped black lace demi-bra's don't cut the mustard on a day-to-day basis, she saves those for the bedroom. 

I know her measurements because I like to buy lingerie for her and bless her heart, she likes to wear it for me.  Not all the time, but as a reward for when I’ve been good.  I always try to be good because I like the rewards; I do all my chores around the house on time and I bring home the bacon.  I’m a lucky guy and I love my wife a lot, and I like the goodies she throws in when she wears the sexy lingerie I buy for her. 

I’m not talking whips and chains here or anything, and I’m not talking all the feathers and lace and stupid deedle-balls they drape all over the models at Victoria’s.  My wife sports the sexiest bras, the most miniscule thongs, and she has a collection of lacy, see-thru negligees, silk mini-kimonos, all very tasteful and all VERY sexy.  Not the rude stuff you see the **** chicks strutting around in but certainly sexier than what Church Lady across the street climbs into for her hubby (I don’t even want to imagine), and my wife has the sleek body to go with the outfits, besides. 

But wait it gets better.  Early in our marriage I introduced Wifey into the habit of shaving for me ‘down there’ - you  know.  She keeps her pussyhair narrowed down into a diminutive landing *****, completely bald from the **** on down.  As an Oriental woman she's practically hairless to begin with - she doesn't even need to shave her legs, so you can imagine the effect.  What little pubic hair she has is closely cropped, no more than a 1/4 inch, a nice little patch of silky fur.   

But wait it gets better, still.  Like most Oriental women, my wife is a kinky nympho in the bedroom, or the front room, or any room we find ourselves in, or the swimming pool or wherever . . .  She’s willing and able, truly multi-orgasmic and on top of it all she is a good sport when it comes to studying dirty movies to see what the latest style is or to get pointers.  I think we’ve done every variation, every technique – yes she’s even let me go BACK THERE although she didn’t enjoy it but at least she was game to give it a go.  She has a collection of vibrators she allows me to incorporate into our fun & games.   

Now I don’t want you to think all this kinky pervertedness is on any kind of regular basis – this sort of thing is reserved for special occasions.  I mean, living in a perverts paradise would exhaust anyone, and it’d take anything special out of the event, besides.  We go at it like pornstars about maybe two or three times a year.  In between sex is vanilla flavored, and then there are the long dry spells I’ve been complaining about – the dry spells that have me distracted to the point of desperation.   

What IS a constant is my wife’s personal sexual trademark: Oral Sex (thank you again God for the ten millionth time thank you).  She likes getting it and she seems to LOVE giving it, all the way to completion.  In this department I'm a lucky, LUCKY man - I live on the receiving end of a steady stream of ******** – when we DO have sex, that is.  She likes “taking care” of me this way.  She even indulges my perverted nature by talking dirty, saying the filthiest things about how much she loves to suck **** as she takes breaks in between running her lips and tongue up and down on my tool.   

Now I’m aware that I have NOTHING to complain about in the bedroom department, and so I don’t complain. I happen to KNOW FOR A FACT that the dry spells are due to her “time of life”, and so I’m willing to endure for as long as it takes for her to get over this – it’s been about two years now.  There’s the thing about the pigtails, of course, but if that’s ALL I’m missing out on, then I have no right to complain whatsoever.  Some guys are married to Miss Manners and the wildest it ever gets for them is if she lets them do it any other position but missionary – and they can FORGET all about EVER leaving the light on.   

Well I guess I’m living proof that you can give a guy everything he wants and then some, and he’ll still want more.  I can’t seem to let go of the pigtail thing.  I mean, what’s the big deal, right?  She’s willing to let me give her facials, pearl necklaces, I kid you not, but somehow it's not enough - I want the pigtails and she's not willing to go this far.   

I mean, what’s so kinky and perverted about pigtails anyway?  Still, I know better than to push the issue.  I bring it up from time to time to let her know it’s on my mind, but I throw it out there as a sort of a joke. 

Moving on.  Wisdom seems to be coming to me with age; recently I picked up one of those self-help relationship books – something I NEVER would have done in a million years in my younger days.  Right away I picked up on a technique for getting Wifey into the mood.  A woman needs kind words, not just actions – I mean, BLINDING FLASH OF THE OBVIOUS here, right? – the idea being if I sweet talk her I’ll get her feeling all clammy inside, and then good things come . . .  

So we were sitting around on the deck last week, enjoying the cool of the evening, listening to the birds roost in the trees and the sound of the water in the pool.  I held my wife’s hand and said nice things, lovely things about how much I love her, how much she’s the meaning of my life, how I’d be nothing without her, you know the deal.  And the kicker is I meant everything I said.   

Well Wifey got all goose-bumply and she was smiling wide and loving it.  She finally got up and we held each other and hugged and kissed a little bit, until she looked up at me with a cheeky look in her eye and said, “Oh, I know why you’re being so nice to me – you want something special for Father’s Day, don’t you?”  

Something about me, I never know what to say when somebody asks me what I want - for Christmas, for my birthday, for whatever – so when Wifey asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day I was my usual nonplussed self.  “Uh . . . oh . . . I dunno . . .”  

“You want to do dirty, nasty ******* with me, don't you.  Like when I do it for you like the **** girls in those movies, don’t you?” she said with a leer.  

“Well, uh, now that you mention it, that WOULD be kind of nice . . .”  

“You want me to dress up in stockings and heels, like a hooker?  You want me to wear miniskirt with no panties underneath, that sort of thing?”  She was really on a roll - promising me better than usual, here.  

“Heh, heh, you know me too well, Honey.”  I brushed a strand of hair out of her face as I said this and tucked it behind her ear, and as I did this wide-eyed look came across her face.  

“OH ! ! !  You want me to wear my hair up in PIGTAILS, don’t you?”  

“W-E-L-L-,"  I couldn't believe what I was hearing here - the pigtail thing, coming from her this time.  " . . . only if you’re, you know, OKAY with it . . .”  

“OK let me see if I have this straight: you want me to dress up for you in stockings and heels, miniskirt no panties, hair done up in pigtails so when I give you ******* it’s like horny, kinky hooker sex, right?”  

“Well I don’t want you to do anything you’re, you know, UNCOMFORTABLE with, Honey . . . ”

There was a bit of a pause while she did a bit of soul searching – we were still in each other’s arms at this point, mind you, and she could feel my ***** pressing right against her.  “Okay,” she said with a little tentative nod of her head.  “I’ll do it for you, Husby (that’s what she calls me); you’ve been such a good Husby.  I’ll do my hair up in pigtails for you, and all that other horny stuff.”  

I guess I better not tell her all I was thinking of was a set of ratchet-drive socket spanners in the larger sizes, standard and metric.  I can either do without, or go out and buy those for myself any time.  

sturmbringener sturmbringener
46-50, M
2 Responses Jun 19, 2007

Brilliant and honest. great story.

You wicked, wicked Husby!! =} I loved this piece!