My First Poem

This is a poem that I wrote just now. I don't know if it is any good but tell me your honest opinions about it. It is the first poem that i ever wrote. Im also not sure if it is even in poem format so if you want to you can help me out.



I feel the cold metal handle in my hand. The solid objects grows even heavier as does my breath. Time slides by-  seconds turning into hours. I close my eyes and let only other senses guide my hand toward a dark figure. Before I know it there is a deafening "crack" and my eyes spring open. There in front of me is the crumpled target. A wave of guilt,  fear and satisfactory wash over me. The room is stifling- the only sound is the thumping in my ears and the only feeling is the cold I feel in my heart. Although the fear is great the sence of satisfactory is greater- and I suddenly feel only this as I walk away with the gun still in my hand. 

bloodpressure bloodpressure
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 2, 2010

Quite good, nice description.

Love it. Good use of words.