I Lile to Hang With Girls
I've generally gotten along with all co-workers, co-students, team mates etc., but found very early that when I was with a group of males, something didn't fit. That something was me. I had to force it. Talking sports, or of "doing " some woman felt odd...uncomfortable. I am not one of the guys. I always felt sexually attracted to women, and not to men, but I dreamed of long kisses, holding hands, sharing an ice cream cone...not "doing" her.
I'd rather shop for clothes for my wife than watch the super bowl. I would prefer most traditionally female activities than most commonly male ones. Only on EP can I admit that I like girl movies, girl books, girl bands, girl clothes.
Now, I like fishing and camping, but would rather go with a group of women. When I see "the women" cleaning up after a holiday meal, I feel I'd rather do dishes and talk with them than chat with the men folk over a game. I envy "girl's night out"...I want to go!
When with male co workers I often feel like I am on the outside, somehow not part of the group; it's weird. With a group of women I decidedly do not feel like "the man", but only like one of the group. Often it takes a while for me to realize that I am the only male, and I hate to be reminded that I stand out in any way.
Hell for me would be to be isolated with a group of men: barracks, prison, a locker room...I would hate it. I just want to hear the women say "come join us...you're one of the girls!"
I would say I must BE a woman inside, except for the obvious facts that I do not like men sexually, and that I do indeed feel too masculine. I do not have feminine mannerisms nor exhibit stereotypical gay traits. But I may be softer around the edges than most men.
I can't make the girls accept me as one of the fold, but I can select women doctors and business partners, and I can decide with whom I speak and interact. I won't be unfriendly to men, but will welcome all friends.
To women I would say that not ALL men want to "nail you", and that some want to be more like girl friends. (yes, most men by far just want to have sex, not "friendship") I would doubtless have many, many more girlfriends if more did not assume I was hitting on them.
I feel different and alone at times; I've never met any one quite like me, and I do not seem to fit behind any label.
I just want to be one of the girls! I am far more comfortable.
I'd rather shop for clothes for my wife than watch the super bowl. I would prefer most traditionally female activities than most commonly male ones. Only on EP can I admit that I like girl movies, girl books, girl bands, girl clothes.
Now, I like fishing and camping, but would rather go with a group of women. When I see "the women" cleaning up after a holiday meal, I feel I'd rather do dishes and talk with them than chat with the men folk over a game. I envy "girl's night out"...I want to go!
When with male co workers I often feel like I am on the outside, somehow not part of the group; it's weird. With a group of women I decidedly do not feel like "the man", but only like one of the group. Often it takes a while for me to realize that I am the only male, and I hate to be reminded that I stand out in any way.
Hell for me would be to be isolated with a group of men: barracks, prison, a locker room...I would hate it. I just want to hear the women say "come join us...you're one of the girls!"
I would say I must BE a woman inside, except for the obvious facts that I do not like men sexually, and that I do indeed feel too masculine. I do not have feminine mannerisms nor exhibit stereotypical gay traits. But I may be softer around the edges than most men.
I can't make the girls accept me as one of the fold, but I can select women doctors and business partners, and I can decide with whom I speak and interact. I won't be unfriendly to men, but will welcome all friends.
To women I would say that not ALL men want to "nail you", and that some want to be more like girl friends. (yes, most men by far just want to have sex, not "friendship") I would doubtless have many, many more girlfriends if more did not assume I was hitting on them.
I feel different and alone at times; I've never met any one quite like me, and I do not seem to fit behind any label.
I just want to be one of the girls! I am far more comfortable.
By:
wastom
Age:
51-55
,
Male
