I Am Living A Nightmare And Cannot Wake Up

At 36 I feel atleast 70. I live a life of overwhelming depression and disappointment. Each day is a struggle and challenge filled with anxiety. I have failed at mostly everything including marriage, finance, career and sanity. I feel my birth was a mistake and I see my death being long and torturous. Can it be true there is hell before hell? I replay many regrets and choices I have made in the course of my meaningless life starting from marrying a man I knew could never make me happy. I sleep as much as possible. I am the happiest when I sleep. Less time awake means less misery. I believe that some people were meant to be happy and succeed and some were meant to fail and be miserable. I was clearly meant to fail. I look forward to the day I am done paying my penance in life.  Some say life is what you make of it.  My definition of life is purgatory until hell.
sexymama09 sexymama09
31-35, F
Aug 4, 2010