I Feel Like A Jerk Sometimes.

I would consider myself kind. I try to be there for my loved ones, to be patient, to be fair. I give money to the aspca every month. If I have food in the car and there is a homeless person on the side of the road, I give it to him or her. But my number one rule: NO BULL$HIT. No B.S. No matter what. And that includes tolerating it from others. There is so much of it in the world. It is polluting the human race. The whole world.

The other week, a janitor at one of the places I work told me not to park where I had because I supposedly didn't work there. I told him I did. Then he started to get into it with me to which I responded, "Don't you DARE speak to me like that. You better leave me alone. That was unnecessary" He shut up. When kids at work give me sh#t, I tell them what is up immediately. When my parents start fighting when I'm home visiting, I tell them to shut it and to be idiots when I'm not around.  At work, when clients try and screw me over, I get in their face and ask, "Would you expect your doctor to give you a discount when he or she doesn't give anyone else one?"  We have people trying to abuse our policies and pricing all the time.

There have been times when good friends have crossed the B.S. line and I've just had to whip out my inner b#tch. I still maintain my friendships, but man have I called some people out.  One friend tried to tell me that he couldn't deal with my emotional state after my fiance died.  So I told him he was of weak character and would never get through the hard things of life with his head on his shoulders if he couldn't even be around someone who was deeply sad.  I told him a lot of other things too like he was a terrible person to ask me to feel differently or act as if I was ok just so he could be more comfortable.  How selfish.  We didn't talk for a while.  I still don't completely trust him.  When my sister refused to help me take care of my mother when my mother was in the hospital, I told my sister she was morally corrupt and I meant it.  I don't beat around the bush.

I know it sounds like I'm a jerk, but its just at the core of my being, I really can't deal with bullshit, I just can't do it. It goes against every grain in my body and soul.

So one moment I appear very kind and the next I will go off on someone for being an giant bowl of bull$hit. It makes me look like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

I have other rules, other codes, but that is the first one and the most important to me.
FlyingNinjas FlyingNinjas
26-30, F
Dec 15, 2012