My Dinner With Dasmuggler

It began innocently enough last night. I called up Dasmuggler and asked him if he wanted to go to eat at a nearby restaurant. He agreed to go and soon enough we were on our way. Before we entered the lobby, I noticed through the glass doors that our host was already awaiting us.

As we came in, our host, a large, jolly bear of a young man, greeted us with an enthusiastic and slightly effeminate, "How many?" I politely informed our host it was a parting of two, he offered us a very small booth near the cash register, and took our drink order. No sooner had we been seated than our host/waiter started discussing Judy Garland and The Wizard of Oz.

Never one to miss an opportunity to discuss movie trivia (at this point in our story, somewhere from within the fog of the ancient past, the sound of an iris valve opening can be heard <- inside joke), Dasmuggler immediately launches into a discussion on Judy Garland with our waiter. Three very long minutes later, the waiter leaves and I look at Dasmuggler with an expression of deepest and most sincere pity. Slowly shaking my head, I quietly tell Dasmuggler, "You realize you've just been outed, don't you?"

In the many years I've known Dasmuggler, this is the only time I can say that I've ever seen a look of total confusion on his face. In between visits to our table by our friendly waiter, I explain to Dasmuggler in a hushed voice that he just gave the correct countersign to an inquiry regarding his sexual orientation. His confused look became one of total bewilderment.

I asked Dasmuggler if he recalled how, during WWII, allied troops used the sign/countersign technique to identify friend from foe (Upon encountering an unknown foe, a soldier would shout the challenge, "Flash" and the unknown foe was to reply, "Thunder" if friendly). Being the walking encyclopedia that he is, Dasmuggler instantly recalled that obscure historical fact.

Very matter-of-factly, I explained to Dasmuggler that Judy Garland was like a sign/countersign in the gay community. He scoffed at me disbelievingly and dismissed me with a roll of his eyes. Calmly, I persisted with my explanation. "Look," I said, "It's like the masons. You don't just come right out and ask someone 'Hey, are you a mason?'. It's done on the cool. Like, in this case, he mentions Judy Garland. Now, the vast majority of straight men aren't gonna know jack **** about Judy Garland. So, if you respond in a positive way, then he assumes you have the same preference he does."

The "Oh, ****" look on his face didn't last long, but it was priceless.

TheEtherBunny TheEtherBunny
26-30, M
13 Responses Apr 8, 2009

When you go visit Dasmuggler, I'll go over to his apt and cook a special dish of CAT lo mein just for YOU.

I want lo-mein.

no I just like my roommates cooking better

Despite his claims to the contrary, Dasmuggler can cook. He just likes to sit back and let someone else do all the work. LOL.

Actually, I love a man who can cook (share recipes).

Of course, there's nothing wrong with being gay.

Oh! I'm sure he could.... but could you? How about sharing recipes? (nudge nudge)

the waiter might be able to

Ummm.... not that there's anything wrong with being gay, right???<br />
<br />
(Can he also discuss window treatments? wink, wink)

Oh, I know that. I just wanted to say that. *teehee*

Oh, I know he's not gay.

again my gaydar was jammed

I can honestly tell you, from personal experience, that Dasmuggler is not gay.