I Live In A Domestic Discipline Relationship
Hi again! I just feel I need to talk about what I was concerned about going into DD and my husband's concerns, and how we deal with them, and what we have learned. I believe many other couples would have had the same worries and I hope this will show couples that are new to DD that it's worth a try. :)
Will this make us unequal?
That was my biggest concern, and also for my husband. We didn't agree with a lot of things that books told us, like the woman calling the man sir or master, or the husband being able to punish the wife for little things such as burning a steak or not finishing the laundry. We saw this as a marriage 100% controlled by the husband, unloving, and unfair. The wife should be allowed to speak her mind, and only disciplined for things that are immoral and that she needs help with. My baby's first question was, "What about me? What about when I mess up?" And we came to a conclusion that I can correct him when he's slipped up, we can talk, see how he can do better and because we are Christian, we do a bible study on it. This reminds me of what is expected of me as well. Reading through blogs, forums and stories about couples practicing DD, I remember being astonished when I came across one where both the husband and the wife were whipped/spanked. I think it makes no sense to punish my husband and it defeats the purpose of DD. But realizing where he has gone wrong isn't. It's obvious when a man is spanked it does not teach him. He is the head of the household, and I am to submit to him. It says this in scripture.
What if this makes me ornery or uptight all the time?
I told my husband this and he said that if it does, that's not what he wants and we can by all means stop. But I found that this made me way more soft and respectful towards him. I felt taken care of and protected. I was worried that I would be stressed and trying so hard to please him that I would become bitter. But really, it's not much different. I just know now how I am to behave, and understand the consequences if I don't. I want to be a kind, respectable lady that people can learn from. And I want to be the best wife I can be for my husband. Discipline has helped me very much to achieve this. It also has helped him as he knows he has to be the man for me. He gets frustrated less now, is more calm about me getting into trouble, and knows he has to be a strong man who is strong in his standards, values and behaviour.
Will we become a couple hung up on being perfect and so focused on DD we forget who we are and that our marriage is about love?
My husband wasn't as concerned about this one, but I assumed that we could maybe end up being one of the uptight, grouchy, religious couples that shake their head at other couples. But discipline stays among just the two of us, and it doesn't affect the other parts of our life, such as our friends, work, church, and we are only 24, and been married for two years, so I was also scared we would forget how to have fun, and how to be silly like we were. But we still are! There is such a light-hearted sprit and laughter in our home. He is so kind, and never unfair to me. He hasn't forgotten about how "fun" our relationship is.
What if I can't do it? What if I break the rules all the time, and cost myself to be spanked every few days?
I realized that if I was feeling that insecure about how I would be acting, I do need this lifestyle to get my actions under control. But I only get a spanking about every month or two which has been so good! My husband has been so proud of me. We only confirmed last August that we would be using this, and he's only had to spank me about six times! :)
What if it really hurts? What if he's secretly abusing me and I don't even know it?
I'm not saying I don't learn from punishments, I do. But they only last for about two minutes (three at the most), and although they are painful, I feel like its such a clean way to correct me and I actually feel quite refreshed after I've been spanked. My bottom does hurt for the rest of the day, I admit that, but it's not a violent, tiring process.
Thanks for reading and hope you are able to work through your questions and concerns with this lifestyle! :)
Will this make us unequal?
That was my biggest concern, and also for my husband. We didn't agree with a lot of things that books told us, like the woman calling the man sir or master, or the husband being able to punish the wife for little things such as burning a steak or not finishing the laundry. We saw this as a marriage 100% controlled by the husband, unloving, and unfair. The wife should be allowed to speak her mind, and only disciplined for things that are immoral and that she needs help with. My baby's first question was, "What about me? What about when I mess up?" And we came to a conclusion that I can correct him when he's slipped up, we can talk, see how he can do better and because we are Christian, we do a bible study on it. This reminds me of what is expected of me as well. Reading through blogs, forums and stories about couples practicing DD, I remember being astonished when I came across one where both the husband and the wife were whipped/spanked. I think it makes no sense to punish my husband and it defeats the purpose of DD. But realizing where he has gone wrong isn't. It's obvious when a man is spanked it does not teach him. He is the head of the household, and I am to submit to him. It says this in sc
What if this makes me ornery or uptight all the time?
I told my husband this and he said that if it does, that's not what he wants and we can by all means stop. But I found that this made me way more soft and respectful towards him. I felt taken care of and protected. I was worried that I would be stressed and trying so hard to please him that I would become bitter. But really, it's not much different. I just know now how I am to behave, and understand the consequences if I don't. I want to be a kind, respectable lady that people can learn from. And I want to be the best wife I can be for my husband. Discipline has helped me very much to achieve this. It also has helped him as he knows he has to be the man for me. He gets frustrated less now, is more calm about me getting into trouble, and knows he has to be a strong man who is strong in his standards, values and behaviour.
Will we become a couple hung up on being perfect and so focused on DD we forget who we are and that our marriage is about love?
My husband wasn't as concerned about this one, but I assumed that we could maybe end up being one of the uptight, grouchy, religious couples that shake their head at other couples. But discipline stays among just the two of us, and it doesn't affect the other parts of our life, such as our friends, work, church, and we are only 24, and been married for two years, so I was also scared we would forget how to have fun, and how to be silly like we were. But we still are! There is such a light-hearted sprit and laughter in our home. He is so kind, and never unfair to me. He hasn't forgotten about how "fun" our relationship is.
What if I can't do it? What if I break the rules all the time, and cost myself to be spanked every few days?
I realized that if I was feeling that insecure about how I would be acting, I do need this lifestyle to get my actions under control. But I only get a spanking about every month or two which has been so good! My husband has been so proud of me. We only confirmed last August that we would be using this, and he's only had to spank me about six times! :)
What if it really hurts? What if he's secretly abusing me and I don't even know it?
I'm not saying I don't learn from punishments, I do. But they only last for about two minutes (three at the most), and although they are painful, I feel like its such a clean way to correct me and I actually feel quite refreshed after I've been spanked. My bottom does hurt for the rest of the day, I admit that, but it's not a violent, tiring process.
Thanks for reading and hope you are able to work through your questions and concerns with this lifestyle! :)
By:
Cocobonbon97
Age:
22-25
,
Female
