Who Leads In Your Sex Life?

It's pretty 50/50 at our house. But I tend to not let him know I'm leading it on. He gets aroused by being close to me. So for instance, we when in the bedroom for a nap and I laid my head on his arm. After several minutes of him sounding very much asleep I pulled away and went on my side of the bed. In a few more minutes I feel him touching my breast. I say, ''I thought you were asleep?''.... he says ''I can't sleep when you get so near me... I have to have you.'' and then there ya go! lol.... Some of it is because we had gotten so far from each other previous of TiH...now I'm more vulnerable and open with him. It's a huge turn of for him and yep...it pleases me too! :o) (I don't know if I answered your question or just had to brag that I'm getting some action!!!!) lol

Great topic. My husband and I are fairly well matched in terms of our needs, but we can both take the initiative. We always have sex after a spanking, something we both want. Otherwise I quite often take the initiative in bed, but if we are anywhere else then he is the one to start the action. Sometimes when I am in the kitchen making dinner, or rushing to get ready to go out, then I don't want it at first, but he has the most wonderful ways of persuading me.

I have never known him to turn me down. ~Smile

This is a terrific story! I like you, can't get enough. We are just now experiencing bondage. Although I am available to him at all times, he is similar to your husband and he's ok with whenever. Unfortunately for me he uses sex as a punishment in itself. If I was disciplined thst night, then I am denied. But I can show my submission to him sexually and give him release but am denied an ******. It is working for us and I see it in a whole new way.

Engelbert Humperdink sang "After the Lovin' " whereby I might say "After the Spankin' " which led to Sharing and Making Love in our relationship. Whether it was a maintenance spanking or a discipline spanking all was well.

Yes, she was a loving submissive wife in more ways then one, while as for myself, I appreciated the fact on occasion regarding sex she would take the lead which lit me on fire as there is a time and place for everything while all of life should be so simple.

I have a very high sex drive and he could probably go forever without it. Although he doesn't mind seeing me on my knees once a week ;)
So, I will let him initiate, or if I start to get frustrated from pent up sexual desires I will approach him.
Once we start he is very dominant in the bedroom, much like Christian Grey, I cannot touch him (because it tickles). He pins me down so I can't move. I have bought him rope hoping to bring in some bondage (he is not ready to take that step :(
On black Friday (for you UK'ers that's the day after American Thanksgiving) we went to the "store" and bought a few toys (I never owned any). We have started to use clamps, vibrators, plugs, and he seems to be enjoying sex more that we have brought these things into the equation.
Only once has discipline turned into sex and that was because when we had our very first session I told him that I was to thank him when we were done and that is how I thanked him. Spanking (erotic has almost always been apart of our sex life).

I think I answered your question...

Great story topic!

I think our relationship is similar to your... I want/need sex more often than my Husband. We also encorporate a lot of BDSM aspects into our lifestyle.

We pretty much agree to be available the same way you and your Husband are.

Thanks for taking up the thread - really good idea Roberta!
I mostly let Hubby take the lead. He knows he can ask for anything
and he'll get what he needs. I sometimes call him master and ask permission for
things, - really submissive-like and wonderful.
We usually end a spanking with love making. He is in so much control when disciplining me and I am so submissive - that he just needs to show me how much he loves me.
A perfect ending - I think!

Very interesting topic!!!
I'm just like you. My sex drive is awfully high. Sometimes he keeps pace, but sometimes he doesn't (especially when he's under stressing periods at work). He just knows I am available always. I mean, it's always been like this between us, right from the start.
My husband gets aroused pretty easily though. Sometimes I just need to act a little horny and he just gets in the mood. I just have to be careful not to act too blatant, since he doesn't like me aggressive... It's a thin line and I wasn't very good at it dealing with it before. I was too insistent or too critical when he was not in the mood, and that only meant a complete turn off to him.
Thing is, now we practice DD, I get aroused more easily, but I am still very submissive, so as a direct consequence, he is delighted and we have more sex than ever.
I think that's how he grew kinky and a sort of spanko himself, lol. He loves my reactions to it.
Sometimes we don't have sex after a discipline "real"spanking. He prefers to calm down first and to be honest, I don't get in the mood for sex after those.... Other times it's like the natural course of action and the sex is incredible. We don't have any rules really.

This is an interesting question RobertaSunset.

In our marriage, we are a lot like girvingtree and her husband. We have sex everytime after discipline. It is when we feel the closest emotionally. Getting rid of the stress certainly puts me in the mood, nevermind the physical sensations that a red bottom brings.

I always feel free to let him know I'm in the mood and he happily obliges but for us, mostly it is him who initiates the idea. Most of the time I don't tell him when I'm feeling frisky as simmering for a couple of days provides just that much more passion and the craziness that he loves :)

Well, regardless of anyones opinion on it, I give myself to my husband after a disciplinary spanking every time. He pretty much requires it. It allows a lot of built up sexual and physical tension to be relieved for both of us, and kind of reinforces our physical connection, and for us it completes the idea of me giving myself 100% to him.

80% of the time he is the one who comes to me for sex first, but I have my moments and he is always happy to oblige lol. Although aside from after discipline, he will not "make" me have sex if I do not want to. I have a history of sexual abuse and he is very sensitive to this, and knows my triggers usually and is very respectful of my wishes in that aspect.

I enjoy giving a good spanking now and again. I makes the sex that much hotter.