Wasn't sure where to write this but needed to put my feelings somewhere. My family and I have never been close. I don't see it as a bad thing per se just the way we are. Every one has seamed to be happy separate or maybe just not together all at once. Weather it was dad needing to be at work or the bar, mom having to be buried with committees or a book, then there was my one brother doing what ever it was (see I have no idea and i have known him his entire life) or my youngest brother drawing or watching videos then there was me doing my best to avoid everyone.  What looked to be the norm for the rest of the world that I saw the loving family hearing other people telling each other I love you, that word didn't pop up to much where I am from. That was O.K I mean that's what I am used to. I am not writing this complaining about growing up as I look back I prefer that life. When I moved out of my parents house 6 years ago and hell even before that it wasn't unusual for weeks to go by without so much as a word being spoken between my family and I, hell it was normal if we didn't even see each other. Then 6 years ago I moved out and still 6 weeks would go by before I would hear from home I think they were just checking to see if I was still breathing. Things have recently changed and I hate it. About a month ago my parents neighbor was killed. He was a cop and was shot in the line of duty. Now every day I hear from my mom or if at my parents house there is all this touching and emotion. It just makes me feel uncomfortable. Here I grew up in a house that for all intentions was devoid of emotion and now it feels like we are on a set of some sappy TV sitcom. My mom and dad exchanging kisses and I love yous that before I think I could count on one hand how man times that happened in front of me. This sudden show of concern just creeps me out and I can not wait for everything goes back to normal. Hopefully before every one bursts out in to song like the Von Trap's
lookin4sumthing lookin4sumthing
26-30, M
Dec 24, 2010