My Name Is Lily...not That Anyone Cares.

I live in New Zealand, and if you're not aware of our sheep and pineapple lumps, then I'm assuming you're aware of our binge drinking culture. I don't think anyone actually understands how bad it is here. I've been drinking since I was 13 years old, and it has not only already ruined me physically and emotionally, but spiritually as well. I often spend my time staring at a wall, or the floor. Or even the ceiling.
I am unemployed, I smoke marijuana almost daily, and I drink every weekend. Last Friday I drank so much that I blacked out while I was walking home with my boyfriend. When I came to, I was alone and lost. I don't know if I should blame him or not. Our relationship has been fractured from the start, I guess. But more about him later, if anyone cares to.."care?"

My mother is an alcoholic, and has been for most of her life. I live with my Grandmother. She has taken care of me for most of my life.
My father is now recovered from his alcoholism and drug abuse. He has never hurt me, and I am proud of him.
All of my younger siblings are in foster care. I hope to do something about that, once I have sorted myself out. If I can.
I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, depression and I personally think I have some sort of psychosis going on.
I am unhappy with the human race. We are like a parasite that have spread all over this planet. We are killing everything.
I hate my body, have no self esteem and am often lonely, despite being in a relationship.
I love metal and the like. I day dream about being someone who I feel that I will never be able to become.
I do not like what religion has done to a lot of people.
I have a nintendo gamecube and I love horror films.
I am strange.

My name is Lily, and I am a poor excuse for a 17 year old female.
FaithlessOne FaithlessOne
18-21, F
May 22, 2012