Getting Worst

My marriage has always been one sided in the love area. I love my wife with all my heart. I know it sound like a cliché, but I'm a "sensitive" man, almost to the point where I would consider myself the women in our marriage. I crave those things that women always complain about when they say they are in a loveless marriage. I want to be hugged and held when I come home from work. I'm the one who wants to snuggle after sex, while she goes right to be.

However, things have gotten even worst lately. I have lost 310 lbs, and I passed my wife in both clothing sizes and actual weight a few months ago. It's like I stabbed her in the heart. She only talks to me to get thing done around the house. All business. When we do have sex, it's because she is finally so turned on she wants it. She just lies there enjoying herself, while I do all the work, since I miss sex with her. Sometimes she wont even look at me.

I don't know. If it wasn't for our kids, I think I would divorce and move on. The problem is, she would try to take the kids out of spite, even though she doesn't want them. If it wasn't for me, she would never do anything with them. I pratically have to beg her to go to an event at school for the kids. My 4 year old daughter was having a "Talent show" the same night as a consignment sale was having it's 1/2 night. It was more important the she get the cloths she wanted at 1/2 price then see our daughter sing the songs she had been practicing for months.
ARFishingDad ARFishingDad
36-40, M
2 Responses May 17, 2012

You have to ask yourself is it worth it. I think it's the hardest question to ask

Hang in there . Have you tryed councelling? I wish so much that my husband was like you. I am sitting here crying while I type because I am at the end of my rope. He knows that he is not giving me what I need, like the hugs and kissing, but he refuses to do anything about it. We are reading a book together, but then thats it, we go to bed, each in our own corner. I feel so alone. We have 5 children, so when we have the time, I want to be with him. After 15 years of marriage, I love him more than the day we were married. He says he loves me but actions speak much loader than words. Right now I am at the stage where I want to learn how to be alone without him. I dont want to love him so much because it never gets returned anymore. I have to start learning to only depend on myself so I will be ready, but I am nearly at the breaking part now. Help?

I feel the same way you do. My daughter just turned 18 two days ago and my son is two years behind. They are almost both grown and I feel like I have put in too many years. My husband thinks he doesn't do anything wrong and it is my fault if I feel lonely. He is self-employed and thinks providing financially is more important than a wife feeling she is loved. Please help me to just feel like I am worth more.

Both of your stories are my stories 😥