Loveless Marriage But Sex Great

I've been married for 24 years.  He is 12 years older than me.  I have never loved him and I don't know if he mainly was attracted to me. He comes from a selfish family were they were given a lot of attention.  I don't know if this is why he doesn't show affection to me because he had too much.  I  have wanted to leave but didn't because of financial situation and because of the children..  My youngest is now eighteen works and studies and doesn't need support.  The funny thing that now that I am in my fortys perhaps because of perimenopause I enjoy sex more than ever and with him.  But I feel I need a relationship were there is a connection.  I have been with physical and emotion problems for years.  The latest health problem is my blood pressure is higher than what is normal for me causing me headaches all day.  I have had insomnia, anxiety, depression, low self esteen.  Also he is more loyal to his family members that have hurt me and my children in more than one ocasion.  He has never stood up for me.  He thinks of himsel first.  I am always last.  He promises he will do things to improve our marriage like going out in dates and being more attentive.  He might try once and then quits and then when he sees me frustrated he acts puzzled.   Know that my health is deteriorating more I need to give up in this marriage and take care of myself even if it is alone.  Because I feel lonely with him perhaps I will be on my own but whole.
bonbon17 bonbon17
46-50
May 19, 2012