Alternatives To Romantic Love

I am not in love with my husband and he feels rejected but has no problem putting the burden of "relief and comfort" on me. I am feeling more degraded when I give in even since I announced my true feelings. Since I cannot engage in dating and flirting, I have looked into these things to take the edge off:

- Working out. Getting my body in the best shape of my life and that's a boost
- Looking my best every day. I still do make-up, hair, and stand with my head high
- Engaging in female-empowered fitness like Zumba and pole-dancing (sexy and powerful)
- Practicing celibacy--and therefore closing out my husband's advances and choosing to cleanse and purify my body, i.e. be in control
- a caveat: maturbation is allowed
- Meditation practice, regular with yoga
- Holding my young children -- oxytoxin release and uptake is met

This is my plan for the next six months during which time both of us do some soul searching. He will probably get ugly and make threats to cheat (which I've welcomed as I don't view it as cheating) but he cannot take away the peace I have set for myself. Am I looking forward to no sex for 6 months?
I am looking forward to reclaiming myself and don't fear being alone.

Any other ideas for getting your intimacy fix?
Elledujour Elledujour
31-35, F
2 Responses Dec 11, 2012

Telling him you won't have sex because that's just how you feel is really selfish. You will get what you give. I am a woman, and I feel this way. You can't just reject negativity if you married it. Work together with him, not make up your own plan for success. You might as well just divorce him and put him out of his misery instead of keeping him hanging on while you find inner peace.

Way to work on that marriage: utter selfishness is just the ticket. Too bad it engenders the occasional "ugly" response.