I think it holds me back the most. I've always lived like this, always crazy, everything's always lost, can't have people over. I don't even notice it unless someone's over. It's embarrassing and I've never really been taught to do anything about it. It's going to take SO much effort to just get all my **** together and organized and to KEEP it like that for once. I'm always coming apart at the seams and this is a big reason why. I want to change it, but I just...don't have the motivation. It helps a little to know other people live like this, though.