What A Dump!

There are three flights of stair totaling eighteen steps leading from the sidewalk to the front door of my house. Upon entering, there is a living room to the right and a dining room to the left. You are unable to walk into either room without moving boxes or furniture. The dining room table is so cluttered that we haven't been able to sit around it or eat off it for three Christmas'. Half the ceiling in that room has collapsed. The sheet rock, lath and plaster was ruined by a leaking roof which was damaged for years before my husband finally had the roof replaced.

The next room is the kitchen. There is no counter space since I manage to pile anything on a clear surface. There are boxes on the floor because I have no room to store anything in the cupboards or pantry. The floor, surfaces and stove are dirty.I haven't cooked a turkey for three Thanksgivings because the oven is broken. I am too embarassed to have a repairman come into my house.

Opposite the kitchen is my bedroom. The dresser and nightstand are piled with stuff. I sleep alone in a king sized bed but there is only a quarter of the matress I can sleep on. The remained of it is piled with newspapers and clothing and other stuff which doesn't belong on a bed.

I can count on one hand how often I've cleaned my bathroom in the past three years. When I was in my early twenties, I kept my bathroom so clean you could eat off the floor. But three decades later I am living in squalor. It took two children, a sloppy, unhelpful husband, running my own business for ten years, caring for my father with Alzheimers, being diagnosed bi-polar, depression and obsessive compulsive disorder for me to end up this way.

I have no motivation to improve my living situation. I suffer from this inertia and waste away every day in guilt. I panic if the doorbell rings. My neighbor has reported my outside property to the city on several ocassions. I need to get this house cleaned up so I don't die and leave this mess for my children. I live in constant angst over my housing situation.

Today I watched an Oprah program featuring people who hoard from the A&E program Hoarders. My home is not as bad as theirs. But it is all relative in the humiliation we feel. I would like to start a forum with others who live in a messy home.

MessyMiz MessyMiz
61-65, F
7 Responses Jan 6, 2010

After reading this post and some of the replies, I felt that most women don't understand the messy house syndrome. You think ah today will be the day that things get done. You even start with a list and while starting the list you get overwhelmed by where to start. Each room including closets have their own challenge. Then you get so wrapped up in the details you feel that it's not worth the trouble so you stop and go on to feeling overwhelmed. Or if you do actual dive into a room and get started you get stuck with "oh I remember that" or you sort through things and you still have two plies one to throw and one to organize and they're still very big plies. You spent so much time on sorting that your tired to the point of quitting. Then you leave the mess for another day. Oh but you need something out of the keep pile. I can organize my movies down to the last letter and keep files perfect but ask me to clean my house and I'd I become a drooling idiot as to what to do. Sorry if I jump on my soap box. But I came to this post, because I googled "my house is a dump where and how do i start". I know that I can do this but it's like a huge maze trying to find the right path that leads to the finish line. Sometimes after so many false starts, I just don't have the energy to restart again. And yes I do see a counselor.

With respect, you may be a compulsive horder- it is a form of OCD- see a dr

I'm the polar opposite. My house is spotless and I have always been on top of it all since I left home. I grew up in a dirty, messy home and was embarassed by it. It's easy for me to say this, but just do it. There is nothing that depresses me more than waking up to a foul toilet and then to a skanky kitchen where I can't find the milk for my coffee, if the milk is fresh that is. <br />
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The last place I stayed at was like this and I will never return. People like that should be living in the gutter since it is cleaner and neater than the dwelling in which they live.

Ok Im going to be brutal....you are old enough to know that you change your situation if you want to!! Get of your butt and do something about it!!! Stop whinging and do it. Granted you might not be able to change things like roof immediately and I dont know what your financial situation is (for getting a repair man in) but you can sort out the crap!!! There's absolutely no excuse. <br />
You will feel 100% time better if you feel that home is somewhere you want to be. Your mental health may improve too if you feel more in control and organised. A messy house can makes us all feel disorganised and like we dont want to do anything.<br />
Make a plan...break it down into chunks...set yourselve goals. It can be overwhelming if you think you have to do it all in one go. But little bits here and there. Enlist help too and oh you'd better get some bin bags in!!!<br />
Good luck :-)

*hug* <br />
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i grew up in a terribly messy house, and have moved back home at the age of 24, and have been working on getting my parents' house back in order for 2 years and counting. it's a terrible battle to be stuck in.

I am entertained by Clean House. However, having anyone come into my house and seeing it is mortifying. I feel the show makes fun of people and other people couldn't believe anyone lives likee this. I love to cook so I would be happy if my entire house were fixed up so I could entertain. Thank you for letting me come out of my house. MessyMiz.

Have you thought about contacting the television show Clean House. They help people clean up their houses and fix them up. I personally cannot live in clutter but my home is not the most spotless home in the city either. It doesn't sound like it bothers you other than the possibility of leaving it to your children to clean up. If you didn't want to go through the television show maybe you could get your family and friends to volunteer to help you clean up and sort it; give what you can't use any longer away to charity and then make a pact with those that love you to call you on it if you start bringing more clutter in. This is only if you want to because how you live is your own personal decision and if it isn't infringing on your neighbors it is no ones business.