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He's Finally Taking Testosterone..........

3 times a week for awhile now.....and nothing. I asked, "Do you feel anything? At all?" His reply, "Not really." Ummmm....okaayy....that's it? No elaboration on that? At the beginning of this ordeal (3 years last month)...he blamed me. That I stressed him out, work stressed him out...the house wasn't clean enough...that I didn't show HIM enough affection (this coming from the most NON-affectionate man I know)...blah blah blah. Then it moved to.....he's still stressed, just has NO interest AT ALL...not with me...not with anyone....just NOTHING there. THEN....he finally went to a doctor who told him...1st: he's depressed. Well...no ****. I knew that from the get-go..he just didn't believe in all that psycho-babble..thought it was just mind-over-matter. He learned real quick THAT way of thinking got him nowhere. 2nd....his testosterone was really low. Ok. So....he's on meds for the depression, he quit drinking pretty much except for wine, he quit smoking for the 2nd time...he started giving himself testosterone shots. His mood has changed DRAMATICALLY....he no longer stresses about the little crap that would put him through the roof....over all....a HUGE improvement. I'm happy about that. But....alas.....nothings changed as far as sex. 3 very very long years of NOTHING continues for me....I don't know how much more I can take. We have 2 great kids, been married for 18 years. There's history here. I love him and I know he loves me, but I'm tired of living with my roommate. I want my husband back. I'm so damned lonely. Even when we're 1 foot apart on the couch....I'm so friggin' lonely.
suzted7 suzted7 41-45, F 7 Responses Jul 5, 2010

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I have been taking testosterone injections for a year and a half now and it has done wonders for my sex drive and exercise routine. If your husband has no increase in sexual desire then he is not taking a big enough dose. Most of these Doctors are very cautious about how much to give and do not give enough. If your husband tells the Doctor his sex drive issues he should be able to get an increased dose. Also; he may want to also try hcg injections with his test shots. HCG will boost his natural levels which helps a lot. If he does those two things his drive will increase and he should be all over you. Especially in the morning when his levels are the highest. You may want to try hitting him up first thing in the morning

Testosterone isn't a cure all and getting the levels right takes a good doctor who is willing to work at it. Many doctors will look at a blood test and if the level is at 275 ngdl will say that is normal because it falls in a normal range but that reading is normal for a sick 90 year old man. In order for a man to feel good his level probably needs to be around 600 ngdl which is in the normal range for a male in his 40s. So look at the numbers from the blood tests<br />
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Age Total Testosterone<br />
25-34 617<br />
35-44 668<br />
45-54 606<br />
55-64 562<br />
65-74 524<br />
75-84 471<br />
85-100 376<br />
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The second column is the important number this is the normal level for a healthy male in this age group. Also some men respond better to some forms of testosterone than others . The shots can be pretty intense at first when administered but tend to fade. Many men do better using Androgel which is rubbed on the chest each morning so that they have a more steady dosage than with the shots. I have been using the gel for about 7 years now and it makes a huge difference in energy levels, reduces depression, lowers body fat, increases muscle mass and generally increases feelings of well being.

My husband and I had a lot of these same problems, but them he had major shoulder surgery, kidney stones, etc., and was taking Percocets like they were M&M's. When we went to his Urologist last year I talked to his doctor about what was going on and his doctor said he was addicted to the Percocets. When the 3 of us talked about it my husband agreed with this diagnosis and he wanted to change this situation. First off the doctor knew his testosterone levels were low but took blood to find out, and sure enough the levels were non-existent. He then gave him a presc<x>ription for testosterone injections and the insurance company approved him for a 5 year stretch. So, in July of last year he got his first shot at the doctors office and from then on I give him a shot every other week. In about 2 months things started changing for the better for him AND us! lol Since then his sex drive has been phenominal and then some! It has been so good for us that I have posted over 20 detailed stories about the sex he and I have had. But that 2 year stretch when he was on those pills was horrible, but I love him so much there was no way that I'd ever leave him or have an affair to satisfy my needs. I can assure you that he has more than made up for those 2 years that weren't so great! ;) :) And if you don't believe me, just read some of the stories I posted :)

Oh God...me too! me too! me too! I HATE this marriage because of this issue. Sometimes I hate my life and only want to live for my children. I did not sign up for this! My husband used to be a dating "dog"....he slept with way too many women...but that was ok because he never married...I was the right one who came along and I wanted (want) a very sexual relationship. And he quickly turns into a DUD. OMG...I keep telling him I can't handle this.<br />
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So where are we now? He has an endocrinologist giving him Androgel. He's vastly improved EXCEPT for the issue of sexuality. Of course he's also on an anti-depressant. Those are NOTORIOUS for shutting off sex drive. <br />
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I am having a REALLY hard time being patient and hanging in there. Can you guess how it feels to know his sex life was much better with the bar ****** than with me? He had relationships that were nothing BUT sex and I am terribly hurt and even jealous because I know he feels NOTHING for me sexually.<br />
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Please share...I REALLY need to know I'm not alone.<br />
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thankyou thankyou thankyou!!!

It could be that he lied about past sexual conquest. A LOT of men do that. I guess they think it makes them more attractive in the womans eyes. Causes the whole "tame the bad boy" attraction. Most who have actually lived that life prior to marriage dont really talk about it because it is not a badge of honor. Not to mention they almost always remain quite sexual. Dont ask me how I know...lol..... Anyway you are NOT alone by any stretch. I got out of my SM after accecpting the fact that my ex had NO desire of any kind. Only to see within a few weeks of me getting out she is spending weekends with dates. Why? Because these types use the bait &amp; switch to get their next victim. Perhaps your hubby did the same. I am assuming the sex went down to next to nothing as sooon as he was comfortable that he had you hooked &amp; in love? It is a common pattern with refusers be they male or female. In the case of the men most lie about past sexual experience. Just know that the exact same would have happened with any woman once he got them hooked.....Best of Luck....NSH :-)

You are a saint!

Maybe the meds haven't started working yet. I don't know much about this condition but a lot of treatments for different conditions take time. But if it has been a really long time then that is a problem. You do have one advantage over some here who lost all desire for their spouse due to years of rejection. So that could be a positive. Yea I am a glass is half full type..LOL This is a tough thing to live with. Know that you are not alone & everybody here faces many of the same things. They are a good outlet & support group. I wish you the best in your future.

I know how you feel. It has been 7 months since our last sexual encounter. I feel like I am married to my best friend, not my lover. I feel cheated. I love him very much, sometimes I wish I didn't love him so much because I could just cheat and be done with it. However, that is not something that I would want to do. I'm STUCK.