Where To Draw The Line?

Well been around ILIASM for some time, lamented my near sexless marriage here before I finally took the plunge and had a number of affairs, which were fun but left me feeling rather empty and hollow inside. I have also had the talk with hubs, discussed the options, and we decided to stay together. Our sex life has picked up considerably since this happen (in May), and there's renewed interest and kink in the marriage. HOWEVER. I feel so corrupted by the enthralling illicit sex I enjoyed previously. I feel like a split personality, with my heart and head saying 'be good and give hubs a chance' while my body is screaming for mind-blowing clandestine passion. I'd appreciate your views on this. Is there no turning back after infidelity?
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4 Responses Jul 9, 2010

The talks with your husband were only a few months ago. They succeeded in raising his interest in you from previous inertia but I suspect that he will find it increasingly difficult to maintain his renewed interest before he has blown himself out sexually and cannot carry out your new expectations. He can only maintain his act for a limited period of time. <br />
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Do you think that he would be sufficiently broad minded to accept that at present he is incapable of supplying your full sexual needs and that he may consider you having your needs met in other directions? <br />
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Of course if your husband did agree to your having other sex liasons then there is always the risk that you will meet another like minded soul who was just so exciting in bed that you would be tempted to forsake all others in order to be with your new, exciting paramour.

i think there is a way to go back. i think if you can put it behind you and learn from it then you'll be ok. everyone has secrets. the hard part for you will be being totally free and clear from those people you had an affair with. if you can manage that, then the feelings you have regarding that will go away and everything will work itself out. <br />
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i hope the best for you. i hope you get what you want. if it does, you must let me know what you said to your husband. i have been trying for years to get a message across to my wife to no avail. <br />
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anyway, you can manage it. i once saw some graffiti that read "no lie can live forever", and that always stuck with me. I think in a sense, that is true. but if you are the only person who knows the "lie" then it can live forever.

Does your husband know about the affairs?

Honestly, I don't believe there is. Once you cross that line, it's never really the same again. But if you are truly in love with your husband and want it work, I suggest you "cleanse" your thoughts of what was and stay focused on what you have now.<br />
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Good luck to you.