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I has been 7 years.. my husband hates sex. he has attachment disorder and closeness anxiety. I love him, we have one daughter. even he says he doesn't love me, he doesn't want to have sex in his life I stay with him and wait patiently his therapist to help him. I am 31. I am not happy, but I cant be happy if I leave him either. 
gece gece
31-35
6 Responses Jul 10, 2010

Thanks everybody. <br />
You are all right. <br />
He has been my best friend 5 years before we got married. Sometimes it is just more complicated than it seems. He has attachment disorder and closeness anxiety, even he tries he fails. Now he is seeking for help. I wait and wait and wait. I know that it is not a healthy situation, but i cannot leave him while he is trying. It would be much easier to leave if he cheated on me or something. I am everything he has. If I leave I will be doing the same thing as his family. I am trying to proof him that love is exist without expecting back . <br />
I want to make sure that I did everything I can before I leave. I don't want to tell my daughter that I left him because he did not have sex with me. Maybe I will help him to get fixed then I will leave him. Because I don't know if I can truly love and forgive him after all those years.<br />
Divorce doen't seems so difficult, staying is harder. But I think the reason I stay, I have hope, very little hope. <br />
I sound stupid. But this is how I feel.

If you stay... chances are you will never be happy... and you will teach your daughter that this is how women should expect to be treated...<br />
<br />
If you leave... it will hurt like hell, because you love him... but in truth do you love him, or who you wish he could be? If you leave, you have a chance for happiness in the future... and so does your daughter...<br />
<br />
I am so sorry for your pain and the awful dilemma you find yourself in....

callie, what is CODA?

Why? Why? Why?<br />
<br />
Why do we tie ourselves in knots to fix broken people?!? This man will never love you. All he can ever offer you is pain. He's said so outright! It doesn't matter *why* he is this way, he just is. Save yourself but more importantly, save your daughter from growing up with one crazy parent *and* two unhappy ones. <br />
<br />
Princess Takethebitterpill

You are both still so young.....life is too short to deal with that... there are men out there that will give you the love and affection that you deserve...Yes, it will hurt and be hard for a few years. It took me 3 to get over my ex-husband and we were together 8 years...but in time it will seem like a distant memory...like it was a nother life. PLEASE don't give up your 30's waiting...See if there is a CODA group near you and join it to give you strength.....Don't be with someone that doesn't love you. You both deserve better than that.......sorry to be so preachy but I WISH someone would have given me the same advice.............

im 31 and in the same situation as yourself. almost exactly the same.<br />
what a mess huh? <br />
so what do you want to do?