Everything Was Great Until We Go Married...

I have been married for almost 2 years...debating on divorce right now. I'm not sure yet.. I don't really have a close enough friend to confide in. So why not a post lol. It's frusterating, I am married to a recovering drug addict. For the past 7 months our sex life has been non existent or once a month if I'm lucky. We have a child but that never stopped our relationship before. We used to about 3 to 4 times a week. Then in Dec, nothing. I'm cut off. I could run in the room naked and nothing would happen. I asked him if he was cheating or met someone and he snapped at me. He told me to do my "wife jobs" and I wouldn't have to worry about him cheating. What does that mean? I do all the house work, laundry, cook supper everynight..he doensn't bother w/our son anymore... I walk to work so he doesn't have to drive me...I'm not one of those naggers...I enjoy giving oral sex and I am so ready for sex anytime from him. I just don't understand what that means..."wife jobs". Now the latest is he feels I'm not there emotionally for him. I'm very confused...I found him an excellent rehab centre...I stuck by him in this...I thought we had great communication, we talk all the time. And lately I feel like I'm his enemy. Just at a loss, and I feel like our marriage is already over. He won't go to counselling. He says he doesn't think they'll be able to give him any tips that he doesn't already know. I'm just in limbo...house maid and mother. This isn't the life I signed up for. He hasn't been that pleasant lately.
I know warning must jump for some of you- I guess I just need to hear someone else's opinion other than my own mind. That's all I have lately is my mind.
marriedmama marriedmama
31-35, F
10 Responses Jul 10, 2010

Your husband does not love you anymore. <br />
<br />
Definitely get out before he becomes more aggressive. You certainly do not want to catch a nasty disease either because he is cheating on you -- you know that.

I also agree on that yes. I know forsure drugs and more than likely an affair. Course, he'd never man up to that.

Have had some experience in this scenario.<br />
Some-one who is embracing recovery does not behave in the manner you have described. Rather, they tend to go the other way - taking ownership of their issues and behaviours.<br />
Some-one who is NOT embracing their recovery tends to continue on apportioning blame on those closest to them, and avoiding at all costs taking ownership of their issues and behaviours.<br />
I think you can join the dots as to where this is heading for you.<br />
Just remember, you don't own his issues. He does. <br />
You can support him, if he is embracing recovery, but you can't do it for him.<br />
You can only do what is right for you - and particularly your son.<br />
PLEASE, consider removing yourself and child from this environment, at least until you start getting some signals that he is embracing recovery.

Oh you mean Celine Dion....lol I'm not a frank either so I don't know about them. Interesting way of summing it up. I know enough of both french and english that have a high drive, I don't understand the amount of ones that have none at all. Or even what turns them into this way. I think they get off on punishing people like me is my only theory.

hahaha Yes there is haha

Please go read my stories, I could of written this 13 years ago, It's only gotten worse the more I've tried to make it better. When we first met my H was clean and sober for 6 months and things were amazing, sex 3 + perday, communication open and honest always, loving caring, thoughtful, he couldn't even sit next to me with out wanting to touch me. Then he started working, things started to change little by little. Work became the "new" addiction. I thought I could fix things, some how, some way. Now 15 years later I'm lucky to be here to be able to try and find my way out, the control got so bad. Please get out for you and your sons sake, now before it sucks the soul out of you.

Get Out Now before he turns abusive to you or your son.

Ohhhh I think he'd have more than an eye opener if I had the gulls to cheat esp w/the lawn boy haha. That just isn't the person I am- that would eat at me. If the marriage isn't going to be repaired then I refuse to rot in it. And in all honesty, I don't think anyone that puts all efforts in deserves unhappiness. <br />
PS I'm in Canada (made me laugh)

I just wanted to post for the first time! Sometimes lifes' like a card game, we just have to play the hands we're dealt in life. I think it's OK to take a little time and think through all the moves possible to assure your best move is made without regret. Are you in NC....LOL

I appreciate the feedback.. Just needed to hear it outloud other than my mind inside. I have exhausted all avenues and reading someone else's thoughts check off all my thoughts. I'm not going crazy lol. Next step is to create a healthier lifestyle for myself and my son. If anything, he atleast deserves that. <br />
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Thank you again.