He Caught Me ************...

For many of you men out there, to see your woman getting herself off is the perfect fantasy! For my husband it is clearly not.

He left for work early that day and I decided if he couldn't help me, I might as well pleasure myself. So here I am in bed, legs wide open, vibrator turned on, when he walks through the door. He explained he had forgotten his office keys and had come back to get them. I invited him to join me, at this point I just couldn't stop and would rather have my husband inside of me than a plastic device! But at the thought of having to engage in any sexual encounter with me, he reached for the door and roughly said: "your dad called, you should call him back right now".

So I get out of bed to look for the phone and start another sexless day.

daisywho daisywho
31-35, F
15 Responses Jul 13, 2010

well, that's exactly what I think and how I feel now, no room for elaborations anymore.

jajajjaja, guess we are insane then!

I know, I know!!!! I agree with everything you guys say. It's not my fault, it's his. I'm super sexual, he's totally inhibited for a reason I can't quite understand. I used to think that maybe I just wasn't his type, but then WHY THE **** DID U MARRY ME ON THE FIRST PLACE, HUH? I'm going crazy trying to figure out ways to seduce him and spending my salary on victoria's secret. And what do I get? REJECTION. I'm at the point where I'm starting to hate sex. ****! I even hate the movies with sexual scenes. I hate it when my friends talk to me about their passionate new boyfriends who **** them in elevators and have the libido of 17 year olds. HELP ME!!!! MY HUSBAND IS MAKING ME HATE SEX!!!

Something similar is happening to me. Im becoming obsessed to turn on or at least know if i can turn on a man.
My bf put different pretexts to reject me (he has pain in his feet, legs, back, nausa. He sleep at the same time he is lying in bed). Of course i never ask him for sex because i dont want more rejection, with the acts is ok, i dont need more rejection by words.

Daisy - piling on the comments here, it's not you .... "That boy just ain't right in the head."<br />
<br />
You're right that this ranks high on a lot of guys' lists. Most healthy red-blooded males would stay to watch (heck, some guys would PAY to watch), and have a hard time not joining in on the action. Me, I'd utter those 3 little words... "Teach me how". That your H would leave the room in disgust, well that pretty much sums him up.

Plus, keep in mind: the world is filled with normal guys who would be more than happy to get a taste of what you are feeling.

I'm sorry to read your story, really, you must have felt devastated by such display of coldness. If he's not naturally this unkind and insensitive you may be right that he fears dealing with intimacy, especially talking about it. He clearly used the "phone" subject to avert the issue and he probably felt very uneasy with the situation rather than callous.<br />
If it's applicable in your case, and before both of you go to counseling / therapy, I suggest some indirect, non-threatening communication, notes, letters, email, texting. Force him or nudge him into opening up, act if you thought something was wrong with the two of you (even though it's more likely with him) and decide to work together on it. If he feels the burden is shared, that might help him talk about his sexual block.<br />
Also, instead of trying to please him first and hope he will move on to something more with you, take his hand, make him explore you and feel how much pleasure he can give you while you look in each others' eyes and exchange the flame of desire. Eventually, you should pleasure yourself in front of him and tell him "I need you in me" and I doubt he would balk at that.<br />
<br />
Je te souhaite bien du courage et à bientôt!<br />

Thank you all for commenting! So cool to share and be heard!<br />
<br />
AnarChristian, I've thought about the fact that there has to be something else wrong besides from the physical issues. I give him oral sex every once in a while, hoping and praying this will arouse him and we can move to a different activity, but it just doesn't happen. In the past he would regularly offer to go down on me or something, but lately he doesn't even bother to talk about it. He fears the "sex talk". It's like he wants to pretend he's oblivious to it all. <br />
<br />
I don't know. ****, if I had some answers I probably wouldn't have discovered EP at all. I guess I'm just trying to pretend I can actually recover the sex in my marriage. I've read some stories here were people talk about how they stayed in them too long and now there over 50 and sadly they cannot turn back time. I don't want that to happen to me. I've suggested therapy or medicine, but he's a stubborn man who I'm discovering doesn't care about my feelings anymore. <br />
<br />
Take care!

I have asked my wife to do that many times. I want to walk in on her in the act. I think watching a woman do that is one of the sexiest things.<br />
<br />
So what time is the next show? - LOL

Daisy, I'm sorry for that experience.<br />
<br />
Something similar happened to me a few months ago. As soon as I heard the front door open, I tried to cover myself up while I was playing with B.O.B. When "roomie" saw what I was doing, he said, "I hope you hide that thing in a good place because I don't want our kid to start playing with it in front of company!"<br />
<br />
I still feel the shame from that moment, but thankfully I have an awesome showerhead.

I'm a male and had a simular story my wife caught me mastuebating about 3 and a half years ago and she wont have sex with again. I've tried to be nice and every thing she likes but she just says NO<br />
i dont wont to cheat on her but things are realy becomeing desprate now.

My dear Daisy, Let me start by saying that if you were my wife, you would have no need to have a vibrator unless it was some kinky sex thang we both could enjoy. And if I were to walk in and see you and your BOB( Battery oprtated boyfriend) getting it on, well I would definately offer to lend a hand, tongue, Hey do I hear 3 some!!!! Any man who can see their wife/girlfriend resorting to getting themselves off to a vibrator and turn their back on them is just......****, I dont even know what to call it . Unfortunately, I know it all too well. My wife sees me ************ more often than not and I pretty much get the same reaction. She will walk into the bathroom to brush her teeth while Im in the shower doing the deed and she will just say to make sure all that s#hit goes down the drain. I actually notice how happier she is after she wittnesses the act because she knows I wont be asking for it that night.

i think he is mad there is some thing very sexy in watching a woman playing with herself i must say i would find it very hard not to join in gets me going just thinking about you doing it .!!!!

Daisy, <br />
The reason your husband refrains from having sex with you is very simple: he does not love you much. You may not want to believe that to be true but no other explanation makes sense. <br />
<br />
If he loved you, he would say: " Gee, honey. You know I *** so fast. It embarrasses me and I do not know what to do about it. Would you let me lick you for the time being??? " That is what a loving husband would do. <br />
<br />
<br />
People, <br />
This is the day of the internet. If a man has erectile dysfunction, all he has to do is type in "Erectile Dysfunction Help" in a search engine but nooooooooooooooooooo he chooses to ignore his hot wet wife with her legs spread open in front of his face and he runs off to work instead.

That really sucks. The first time mine caught me, he actually yelled at me for not waking him to ask him if he wanted sex. Yeah, because that would have happened.

Thanks Otto! It really helps to talk about it, makes me feel I'm not crazy!