OcpdMaybe you will see some of your life in my blog - (http://endthegame.blogs.experienceproject.com) if you have a partner with OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD), Passive Aggressive (PA), Dependent, Narcissistic, or any of the other psychological conditions that seem to be a theme here.
Many of these conditions, so I have been told by the professionals, are complimentary to each other, such as OCPD plus APD with undertones of PA and Dependent behaviour. All borderline maybe, but together producing a very subtle but debilitating result on family life and relationships.
What is below relates to my wife and I, it may or may not be relevant to the reader, but for what it is worth it is here. It is a mixture of extracts taken from sites recommended to me by a therapist, and also a forum for OCPD sufferers.
I think I am beginning to understand why I am compelled to write these things down now, for me it is a history, the blog especially, to remind me to look back so I do not forget why I must leave. My one blog is a representation of my life. Not all the time, but a significant amount of time. The times when it is bad are balanced by the good, but the leaning is by far on the bad side now. My blog is long, and doesn’t need to be read in full, I would think you are insane to read it all, but for me I needed to write it down, all of it, to remind me during good times, quiet times, times when we are apart that all is not well at a deep fundamental level. The only reason I no longer challenge is because I am leaving. There is no need to fight now. I grew a spine, just in time to realise I no longer needed it. And looking at our relationship and communication over the course of weeks the reason this arguing and belittling does not happen all the time is because we are apart a lot of the time, once we are together it soon devolves into bad times.
I don't need to vent, the venting days are over, and I have accepted her, her social inadequacies, her phobias.
* - Cluster C (avoidant, dependent, obsessive-compulsive): Patients appear tense and anxiety-ridden to others. Diagnostic criteria (ICD-10) - Anankastic personality disorder also referred to as OCPD
* - Living out the patterns of OCPD for oneself and for others around you is devastating.
* - The person with OCPD is very controlling, and has a feeling of superior competence comparing him or herself to others. He or she will entrust tasks to others only under extreme caution (criterion 6), and have strict instructions as to how they are to be carried out.
* - General rigidity and stubbornness is not uncommon: the OCPD patient takes comfort in "the way it's always been done", does not favour change, and will only relent reluctantly in an argument
* - Because it is a personality disorder, the person with OCPD is comfortable with their high standards and rigid mindset, seeing it as a virtue even though more often than not it hampers success. The person with OCPD will justify actions instead of admitting any sort of problem, because in the person's mind he or she is right.
The primary manifestations of OCPD entail either a bent toward perfectionist standards or righteous indignation. The second factor entails the rigid ownership of truth. This feature produces anger and conflict. Persons with OCPD generally lean toward one of these perspectives or another. In some cases both perspectives are of equal magnitude . . . . . complex syndrome of perfectionist mannerisms, intense anger and strict standards. Their way is the correct way and all other options are "WRONG". Anger and contempt are rarely held at bay for those who disagree.
. . . . persons with this condition tend to resist the authority of others while simultaneously demanding that others conform to their way of doing things
Associated features, according to the DSM III-R, often entail . . . difficulty expressing tender feelings and a depressed mood.
When events stray from what a person's sense of how things "should be," bouts of intense anger and emotional discord are characteristic.
Emotional Rigidity: In a world where being in control is of paramount importance, dealing effectively with the volatility of emotions is extremely difficult. Since emotionality is associated with spontaneity and upheaval (i.e. loss of control), responding to emotions effectively and appropriately places an abundance of pressure on the OCPD to keep them constricted. Exerting effort to contain "out-bursts" of emotion is an everyday phenomenon. It seems however that there is one emotion which exists in abundance. The ex
This anxiety driven desire to retain emotional control can make it almost impossible to be intimate, affectionate or show emotion of any kind as this involves to some degree or another losing control. The euphoria of sex, as this involves total lack of control, is sometimes out of the equation completely.
Someone posted a thread asking what type of refuser one has? This is my type.