Something To Laugh About.

So I am having double hernia repair tomorrow and I am having my interview with the nurse about my post-op instructions. And near the end she asks,
are you married? I say yes. Ok, she replies, once you're comfrortable with the pain and the swelling goes down you may resume sexual activity.
And right there I start laughing in lieu of crying in front of the nurse. And she asks me, why am I laughing. What could I have said to her? I said nothing.
I asked her, are we done? She said yes. I got up and left.

Update: Thank you all for your well wishes and comments. As evident by this reply I survived the surgery. It wasn't a snap because
that was the second time I had to do it and there were complications. Nonetheless, even though in pain I am trying to
recover as soon as possible so I can get on with my life and provide stability to whatever extend I can. Everytime I get incapacitated the wife takes over and even though she tries her best there is always something that didn't get done and I need to get back on the grind as soon as possible.

Now here is the hillarious thing that happened as I am ready to be discharged from the hospital. Some nurses are so clueless it makes me want to cringe. My original deal with the wife is for her to pick me up from downstairs when I am done and a nurse would escort me down when ready. The reason for that is that I didn't want my daughters to see me on a hospital bed. Call it a male ego or something, but I really didn't want them to see their daddy like that.
Anyway, I told the nurse to only call my wife when I am ready to be discharged and all the paper work is done. The wife at this point is at the beach
with the children having fun after dropping me off at the hospital early in the morning. The nurse places the phone call well over an hour before
all the paper work is done and as I am getting ready to get out of bed  my wife and children show up at the post-surgery monitoring room.
My wife arrived there and she couldn't wait downstairs with no easy access to the nurses station phone. My cell phone is checkedd in the security lock and she can not call me. So understandably she came upstairs. But I understand I am not mad at her about that. I am mad at the nurse because I gave her explicit instructions. My daughters eyes look mortified and there is nothing I could do about it. And there is the hillarious part. In front of my daughters and to my wife the nurse gives the following instructions:
"Make sure that his TESTICLES are elevated because of the swelling"
My wife's face goes white, because she has not seen those in quite some time and of course my daughters ages 8 and 5 are like thinking "what??".
I gave an evil look to the nurse and told her that she could have just included this in the written instructions and there is no reason to just utter this
in clear loud voice. Remember, not only my family are there, but other families are there as well, and other post-surgical patients. What the ****.
On the way home my wife asks, "what did she mean by keeping the T. elevated?" ---- My daughters are in the back seats in the mean time ----.
I told her that's my business and she should not be concerned about it. "Good", she replied. So they drop me off at home and I told them to go back to the beach and go and have lunch. My daughters wanted to stay in the house. The wife says that's a good idea to go out and leave daddy to rest. So she does that with a sign of relief because she wouldn't have to deal with my T..s. :)

Anyway, again thank you all for your support and well wishes.


MasterKosh MasterKosh
36-40, M
13 Responses Jul 14, 2010

I hope she at least got you settled in and comfortable before she bolted. And they all hopefully came home with Daddy feel better gifts, you know the picture they draw in the car while stuck on the freeway, etc( if they are little) Anyway, good it went well for. Heres to a speedy recovery and a happier outlook.

I had that response evertime they asked me if I might be pregnant. <br />
<br />
Princess Needssomewateroflove

omg, how can you handle that? i absolutly love sex, i do it, at least twice a day. i'm sorry, but you should tell your partner that you want to do it, honestly its healthy. i ♥♥♥ sex.

"Only if the baby is born battery operated and buzzes instead of cries"<br />
<br />
OMG. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. I will have to remember that one.

I think laughing was the healthiest response to that question. It sure beats crying! Good luck on your surgery and in your life.

Oh that's easy. You ask: "Will I be able to play the violin?" She says: "Sure" You say: "That's funny I couldn't do that before either"<br />
<br />
Sounds like you will be cured after the surgery.<br />
<br />
Good luck.

If it wasn't so painful it would be something to laugh about .. .not your upcoming surgery .. .the realism behind your response to the nurse. ... most people just assume that married couples are having intercourse ......... because isn't that part of our marriage vows? Yes, yes, yes, yes .... it is part of marriage and brings happiness to each other ..<br />
<br />
Good Luck on your surgery~

Good luck with the surgery. Never fun. people say stuff like it isn't major surgery. My definition of major surgery is any surgery they are doing on Brokeelectrix THAT'S funny & to both a good sense of humor goes a long way :-)

BrokeElectrix is too funny!!! I'm sorry I'm very upfront about it myself, I know it makes people uncomfortable but don't you think the reason people assume that if you are married that you are having sex is because most people don't really talk about it?<br />
<br />
I hope you have a speedy recovery!

Good luck with your surgery, and a good sense of humor does help keep it sane so good for you.

When I went to get on a prescription I had a nurse and doctor ask me if there was any chance I could be pregnant - to the nurse I said no...but when the doctor asked me (which was the second time) I said "Only if the baby is born battery operated and buzzes instead of cries". Which I thought was pretty funny....but it only confused my doctor who replies "So....does that mean no"? Awkward! <br />
But really- just cause someone is married it doesn't mean they are "active", doctors should realize this more than anyone you would think?

BundyAl, I'm so sorry. <br />
<br />
Last week, my OB asked what I was doing for birth control and I said, "Not having sex!!" She smiled uncomfortably and carried on with the examination. I told my "roomie" about it and he asked why I said that. Honesty newsflash: we're not having sex!!!<br />
<br />
Wishing you a full and speedy recovery from your procedure.

Poor you x