Depression Fridays

(not casual fridays)

the truth of this site is really an eye opener.
from young guys like me to the more experienced, our stories are so similar.

sometimes my life feels like such a mess because of this stupid relationship. My spouse told me last night during a conversation that she would be totally ok with divorcing me but that the only reason she is going to stay is because she doesn't want to share our daughter evenly. she wants me to be a every other weekend dad, i don't want that. she knows i want a change, and that i dont think she is capable of it. i'm hurting today. i mean really, i can't expect her to change, it isn't going to happen. 5+ years of the same issue, 2 different therapists, countless heartache.......no changes.

she cracked me up though, in her mind we have sex 2 times a week. seriously guys, i'm terrified. the last time we had sex was over 3 months ago.

i could write the saddest blues song ever right now, although i'm sure it's already been done.

"woke up this morning
got outta a different bed
haven't felt love in a long time
its really screwing with my head"

It's friday again, another movie night for me. Another night with my good friend Mr. Daniels.
Another week down, hope you all have a great weekend.
jazzconstructionist jazzconstructionist
31-35, M
8 Responses Jul 16, 2010

>>>sends good vibes<<< good luck with things! I agree with most of the above people - get a lawyer - if you lived close enough and drinking isn't a problem - I don't see any reason you shouldn't get split custody. *hugs*

Hey jazzconstructionist, I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely and depressed. . . sometimes life just hurts. Remember that the future is not as hopelesss as you feel it is right now...when you're in the midst of a desperate situation it always feels like there's no way out, no hope, but once the fog lifts and you start to act it gets better. It does. But you need to find ways to care for yourself and to meet some of your needs every day while you work through this. Probably it would make you feel a lot better if you at least just talked to an attorney about your chances of being able to have shared custody of your daughter; find out who has a record of successfully overcoming the existing legal biases against husbands & listen to everything he/she has to say. My brother went through a similiar experience- after years of heartbreak he finally divorced & then had to face his wife's active efforts to estrange him from their 12-year-old daughter. It was really, really hard for him- your words sound so much like his own whenever we talked about this- but he was determined and eventually he did find a good attorney who was able to get him shared custody. It took over two years, but I can tell you that he's a much happier man now. <br />
<br />
BTW, I can relate to your situation of having moved to another country & married the wrong person. I did the same thing. We don't have children but leaving is still hard after all these years- my life is here now & moving back to my home country would be starting all over from zero. I think only those of us who have done this really know what it means to make that kind of a mistake...so I feel for you. Feel free to message me if you want to talk, virtual hugs.

Hey jazzconstructionist, I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely and depressed. . . sometimes life just hurts. Remember that the future is not as hopelesss as you feel it is right now...when you're in the midst of a desperate situation it always feels like there's no way out, no hope, but once the fog lifts and you start to act it gets better. It does. But you need to find ways to care for yourself and to meet some of your needs every day while you work through this. Probably it would make you feel a lot better if you at least just talked to an attorney about your chances of being able to have shared custody of your daughter; find out who has a record of successfully overcoming the existing legal biases against husbands & listen to everything he/she has to say. My brother went through a similiar experience- after years of heartbreak he finally divorced & then had to face his wife's active efforts to estrange him from their 12-year-old daughter. It was really, really hard for him- your words sound so much like his own whenever we talked about this- but he was determined and eventually he did find a good attorney who was able to get him shared custody. It took over two years, but I can tell you that he's a much happier man now. <br />
<br />
BTW, I can relate to your situation of having moved to another country & married the wrong person. I did the same thing. We don't have children but leaving is still hard after all these years- my life is here now & moving back to my home country would be starting all over from zero. I think only those of us who have done this really know what it means to make that kind of a mistake...so I feel for you. Feel free to message me if you want to talk, virtual hugs.

I was in your situation, minus the kid. I left and couldn't be happier.<br />
<br />
I still would have left if there were a child involved but I'd probably be embroiled in a custody battle right now.<br />
<br />
Is your child yours? If she isn't interested in screwing you now but still wants you to support her and the child for the next 20-odd years, what are the odds that you aren't the father? It's more common than you think.

Careful with the booze. A custody hearing could go wrong if she can honestly say you drink 'too much'.

I agree - you need to take care of yourself - it's not always going to be this way if you don't want it to be - and you'll need your health and strength to carry you through x

I know it won't help, but maybe a little hard stuff would help lighten the mood.<br />
<br />
Go listen to a little 'Cry Like A *****' by Godsmack. Think of her. Maybe you'll feel better.<br />
<br />
(BTW - I think mine thinks we still do it at least once a month too. It's the refuser's M.O.)

thanks straight.