Does He Even Think About Sex Ever?

Well we have beeen married for a little 1 yr 3 months. Before we got married we both decided we would wait until we got married to have sex. The first , time we did it was fine ( so I thought) about the 4th time ( honey moon day 3) he tells me that there is something missing.  So I told him we need to talk about it and when did. He tells me that its something with me and maybe there is a surgery that can help my inner parts. I have never heard such an insult before, but I tried ti take it all in an even made an appointment with a plastic surgeon for a consultation on the procedure vaginal rejuvanation. He made the comment what if you have it done and Im still not happy. Right then I realized that there was nothing that I would do that would make him happy. I changed my hair and tried anything else he might have mention to make him want me....but I grew tired of that and I gave up. I gave up all conversation about wanting sex. actions or suggestions that might imply that I wanted him to make love to me. I dont think he cares... and Im pretty sure he doesnt ever think about sex...at least with me. I never imagined a life like this.... my husband does buy me whatever I want and he is very good to me in that way,  but he doesnt touch me in any way,,,, most times we sleep in seperate rooms...he seems annoyed if I tried to make casual conversation( but he is that way with everyone). To top it all of Im 7 months pregnant. If your wondering how that happened, probaly the 1 time we had sex that whole month,....yeah I was suprised to. He will mount me maybe once every couple of months( only in the wee hours of night).  thanks for listening
ctate1977 ctate1977
31-35, F
10 Responses Jul 18, 2010

Three days? You probably could have gotten it annulled, saved a lot of headaches. Hope things work out for you but this sounds like a doozy

It is likely that he has no desire and does not view the world through the lens of intamcy. While I really doubt he understands what he is doing to you I do know it feels selfish that he does not try to understand your feelings.I cannot tell you what path to take but it is unlikely that he will try. You have done your best. I hope you feel comfort in trying. Sooner or later you will need to find what fills your need with someone else he does not.

Calligrant, sorry to hear what you have gone through as well.....

Calligrant, sorry to hear what you have gone through as well.....

Is he a homo?

I agree with Pittie. I think your husband has a personality disorder. Of course I am not qualified to say so - and no-one can or should "diagnose" like this -= but there are enough points in your story to suggest this is the case.<br />
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Please see a lawyer and have your full story recorded BEFORE you take any action to leave him. He may try to fight you for custody - and there is NO way he should be raising a child IMO.<br />
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Please get out of your marriage ASAP. It sounds freaky and very possibly could escalate into further abuse IMO.

No my husband is not a virgin...he tells me of timeless sexual encounters he has had and how good they were.......yeah we waited for religious reason....yeah i would have married him if we had sex before marriage and he was normal lol and non verbally abusive and loving

Yeah I have come to realize that he has some sort of problem...I am seriously considering getting out of it :( ...he can be very cruel.....sucks im 33 and loveless and sexless

ctate,<br />
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You didn't mention whether you or your husband have had sexual relations with other people. If your husband was a virgin how could he know what was normal?<br />
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Did you wait until you were married before having sex because of religious reasons? Would you have married him if you had a sexual relationship with him before?

OMG... I am sooooo sorry to hear this....my husband criticized my privates saying that I was too tight...he had me convinced that there was something wrong with me and with my personal oder...then I had an affair. I was scared that there might be something wrong and so nervous...being with my lover was amazing and after when I told him what my husband said he was in shock......BELIEVE me he is only saying that to shut you down so that you feel bad about yourself and don't ask for sex. I know it's hard with a baby coming...but depending upon where you live, you can get spousal and child support. Do you have family that can be supportive? What he said to you WAS emotionally abusive......