Whats Wrong Here?

Ive been married a bit over a year, Im 62 and vibrant. My husband is 8 years my junior. My problem is, we have had sex only 10 times from the day we met. Ive mentioned to him that he never touches me, wards off my advances. He says nothing when I discuss this. He always wants to hold my hand and tells me he loves me. He wont look in my direction when  Im nude, nor, will he be in my presence nude. Im very confussed and hurt. I know there is no problem with an erection. Ive never even had a romantic kiss from my husbsand. Any advice?
savrie savrie
61-65
5 Responses Jul 21, 2010

i aim a man who is 40 years old ,with some men we get board of only doing some positions,we need all of them and we need help getting in the mod just like wemon do romance,play full ness,sexy dance in some nice longery.if that dont work hes dead.

I think both NSH and DD have great advice. What do you know about your husband's life previously? Can you see any patterns emerging that suggest this has been a problem previously? It is quite possible that this has been an issue previously, but not one that he has shared with you . . . <br />
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I agree that it is definitely worth trying to find a solution if you really love him. But it may also be necessary to accept that he cannot be the partner you want . . . .

Given his age & since he seems to be romantic in other ways have you ever discussed with him the possiblity of conditions such as E D, Low Testosterone or other medical conditions? It may be a touchy subject to broach as many men see the conditions as a threat to their manhood. Especially those over 45 (I'm 48). We just come from an era that says if a man isn't able to "take care" of his wife then he isn't a " real man". Any marriage or sex therapist will first check any possible medical conditions before looking at any psychological conditions. <br />
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You probably don't need to worry about him not looking at you nude. IF he has a medical condition he doesn't want to get turned on if he cant do anything about it. It is like putting a box of the worlds best chocolate in front of a big time diabetic (smile). Try to talk to him about seeing a good doctor. Approach it in a loving, kind way. Don't turn on the tears. That will just reinforce any feelings of "not taking care of business" he may have. Just let him know you love him & desire him. A good stroke of the ego never hurt. If you do all that & he still doesn't respond then you know he has a much deeper problem. Best of luck :-)

I'd have a serious talk with him first. Then I'd ask myself if he was using me for anything. If I loved him enough, I'd see if he would want to take up counseling.

Dump him. <br />
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Next!