What The **** Am I Missing Out On??

So I am 26 years old and have been married to my husband for 4 years. We have an 18 month old little girl. I don't really know where the best place is to start this story but here goes. When I was growing up, I went to church every sunday with my family. While I was there I learned that to be a good christian you are not to have sex before marriage. I would like to say that all these years later that I believe and have for a while that this idea is a total crock of ****. I was a "good girl". I didn't have sex until I was 21 years old. I know in this day and age I am like a nun. But that was when I met my husband. He was not a virgin when we met, he has had numerous sexual partners. We had sex before marriage, while we were dating and engaged. But we didn't "live in sin" as they say. The sex has always been "meh"l. It's good for him. But I don't know what factor it was but I never had an ****** with him from sex. I just figured it was because I was new at this and just didn't know what I was doing or that I was being too reserved or something. But I mean seriously give a girl some foreplay or something. I didn't have any other sex to compare it to, I just thought it was that way. Anyways. We got married and soon after he started criticizing things about me, how I looked, how I dressed, how I cleaned, how I did laundry etc. It has gone on forever. He has put us in debt and made everything a priority over me and our daughter. We have been to 2 different counselors for extended periods of time. I am just at my wits end. I get denied sex or if we have it, it lasts maybe 5-7 min and I don't get off. I have to ability to ******, he just doesn't care if I do I guess. We go months at a time without sex. This was before and after our daughter was born. I am tired of feeling like I have no control in my life and how it is ending. I feel trapped. I don't want to leave because of our daughter, I want it to get better for her sake. But if it can't I am done. I recently let him know exactly how I feel about him. He was "sorry" and said "he is a horrible husband". I told him don't be a ******* martyr. These issues he already knows, I don't know why it took him hacking in and reading a facebook message to my female friend confiding in her that the sex was horrible and non existent, that he is a selfish ***** and that I don't think I love him anymore, for him to get the damn message. We had sex the other day. It was actually good for the first time in FOREVER and I still sit here and think....maybe that just isn't enough now. Maybe the damage is done. All of that happened monday night. Last night I went in and tried to get frisky and got rejected, because he has a fishing trip today and needed to sleep. F-that.......get your pants down. So today he was supposed to be back by noon. Is he here? No he's already 3 hrs late. And he didn't call to tell me plans had changed. Instead I called him. He said he "didn't look at the clock" Um excuse me you updated your facebook status from your phone while fishing, and you couldn't by chance glance at the time??? So whatever. I am not ugly. Someone out there would want me. I want someone to hold me, kiss me, make love to me (and actually give a **** if I get off). I want some passion. I am 26 years old. I should have slept around (A LOT) before I got married because now all I think about is what I missed out on.
2ge0wglotj 2ge0wglotj
26-30, F
7 Responses Jul 21, 2010

would rather fish with the guys and get his sleep=gay-maybe he is getting off there too.

Yes, we are all in the same cold and unloved sinking boat. Welcome aboard!

Sorry to have to welcome you to the club and I am sorry to tell you the simple truth: Your husband does not love you. He is either mentally ill or he is lying to you about something. <br />
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However, with a kid, you are in a tough spot. We know how you feel.

Honestly, I would die and go to heaven if my wife came in and tried to start something. Fishing? I'd rather be dead tired and well laid than well rested and unloved. For me foreplay is what makes sex satisfying, foreplay, and afterplay. Women look so incredibly lusicous just after sex..... I crave to kiss them all over, savor how rich, satiny, and delicious their creamy skin is, hasn't happened in 16 years. You deserve to be treated like the goddess you are, and for him to get in touch with his own inner love god. We all have access, a little imagination, and a lot of affection, and oh my god what heaven on earth we can find.

Even having more then one partner doesn't guarantee that you will enjoy sex with your husband. I am kind of going thru the same thing, except i had a few partners. I am beginning to come to the conclusion, that it is me and not him. I want the same things you do, I want someone to take charge and make love to me. I want someone who isn't in a rush and has the time to devote the whole night to me if need be. I want to make love until we collapse. After a big blowout with Hubby, I get it more often but still am unsatisfied. Maybe it's my problem?

I am actually inspired by this story, because it reinforces my belief that there are nice women out there who want/need more out of their marriage and their life.<br />
Good luck 2ge0wglotj .

Hes fishing in the wrong pond. Dont wait. Find some fun.