Now That He's Hot, He Still Doesn't Want Me

My husband used to be unhealthy and overweight, and had E.D. He changed his diet, runs, lost 50 pounds, fixed his E.D., got a tan... Now lots of other women want him, and he still doesn't have any sex with me. Meanwhile, I have to watch him walk around shirtless and fit. When he was overweight, he was too tired to have sex. Now that he's fit, he's too busy exercising to make any intimate time for me. He mentions women in his office who have come on to him, although he still says he has no interest in sex at all (even with himself!) Today he was casually talking about his friend and the friend's girlfriend, and how they had a healthy sex life. I was so jealous we ended up in a big fight. Now I won't see him the rest of the day, and he works tonight. Maybe I should give him an ultimatum: Have sex with me tonight or move out.
sexstarved6 sexstarved6
36-40, F
4 Responses Jul 24, 2010

when i read stories like these i wonder how did me and my wife survive 31 years.<br />
we used to fight like cat and dog, personally for myself i always knew there was no one else.<br />
but there were times when things were very shaky, but one thing i have noticed over the years.<br />
the more you analyse things the less clearer they become, <br />
pretend you dont give a damn what he thinks, exclude him from your life.<br />
drive him demented for a change, create a life that does not include him.<br />
maybe then he might realise what he has to lose.<br />
if he doesn't, good ridance to him.<br />
life is too short to waste.<br />
best wishes to you, all here want the best for you.<br />
so up to you after that<br />
cyril

SexStarvedSix, <br />
There is no good excuse for what your husband is doing to you. To stay sane and safe, you have to make plans to leave. If you two have kids, things might be trickier. Regardless, starting facing the obvious: your husband does not love you.

He sounds like he may have had low self-esteem and now gets some sort of sick pleasure from seeing how badly you want him. Don't let him have that control.

People do things for a reason. <br />
<br />
I went to the gym and got fit because I wanted sex. I shaved my body because I wanted to feel pre-adolescent. I didn't decorate the bedroom because I wanted to punish my wife. I left home because I wanted to be happy. These things were often subconscious, but non the less completely valid.<br />
<br />
Two thoughts spring instantly to mind:<br />
(1) He's gay<br />
(2) He's getting buff for another woman<br />
<br />
Either way... not good.<br />
<br />
Rob x