What Does It Mean When You Get What You Asked For?????`

OK, I am so confused. I have been the hamster wheel of hopelessness for almost a year now with this issue (won't rehash, it's in the stories). SO, all the sudden (and I mean like BAM  - out of nowhere), he decides to initiate it and then do it like he used to! I mean, like when we were dating used to. Like I need muscle relaxers to uncurl my toes. Which is all fine and good, ONE good encounter (well, great) in a year. Now what? He's not being any nicer. He's not showing an interest in doing it again. He seemed to really enjoy himself and had no trouble whatsoever.

WTF? It's almost worse now than if it hadn't happened? Has anyone else had this experience?? I mean I have had shut up sympathy sex from him before (eh, it's kind of sad) but this was not that. This was a taste into what I had a year ago and don't understand why I don't anymore. And I'm really happy in one way because he can still feel that way towards me, I remember the man I fell in love with, I am not desperate to get away (anywhere) from him.

 Do I bring it up? Do I just try for another episode and see what I get? Do I just shut up for a week or so? I am really confused here.

I almost miss my rut - this is scary.
GingerJen GingerJen
11 Responses Jul 25, 2010

seems like he might be scared you are leaving and performing the deed to keep you around waiting for the next event.i,d say leave completely and re-assess things whilst exploring some nice healthy casual sex.

MainFull, <br />
I used the word " ardor " instead of sex deliberately. There is a difference. A penis does not have to enter a vagina for ardor to be shared. <br />
<br />
When a couple falls asleep in each others arms, that is enough for the ardor to live long. We have to leave the OP to recognize if she is truly being loved or not.

If your man is curlin your toes as you say but how often? Once a year? Babygirl, he is no doubt curlin toes all over your town. Put a raincoat the brotha next time you do it.

Anything short of regular ardor from a loving husband every night in the bedroom, you are better off betting that you are still being ripped off.

Bring it up! Whats the worst that can happen? You've already seen and lived that. <br />
<br />
I hope this turn of events helps you both establish new patterns that compliment your life and bring you the love and intimacy you deserve and need. <br />
<br />
good luck.

Hey you are damn lucky if the man still wants to F u .. even if the feeling is no longer there .. hang on and see what else next ...

I agree. I think they can turn it "on" when needed and shut it off when they feel they have you secured. Sorry, but keep an eye out.

Wow, deguarddog pretty much went to the center of my worries. I think it's that too. BUT I will perservere and am going to try to Tuesday and see what happens when I initiate.

I think he's just trying to reel you in a little to keep you around. Just enough to keep you hopeful.

Go for it - what have you got to lose?<br />
If he rejects, you're back to square one but,<br />
if he responds.....<br />
You have a whole lot to gain and nothing to lose.

I'll bet it was very confusing indeed.<br />
<br />
How are you feeling now ? By that I mean are you - - -<br />
in a place where you think "a regular dose of that and all will be great in my life"<br />
<br />
or<br />
<br />
"that was great, but there are still 'x' 'y' 'z' that are bothering me"<br />
<br />
What I am driving at is did the sex, as a single issue, "fix" the situation now as you reflect now it ?<br />
<br />
If it did, then your way forward is clear. If it didn't, then some deeper questions may need to be asked.<br />
<br />
Glad you had fun, good luck.