What Is Wrong With Me...?

As soon as I realized I married a robot, I've never been the same emotionally.
I've been looking for attention everywhere, fallen head over hills for anyone and everyone, gotten mad and angry at him. Cried and cried at strange hours of the day, quit my fking job, still horny...thought of ending my life (for a split sec). Sex/intimacy has been my main focus? I've been extremely needy. I was never like this! Never! What is going on?

Has anybody ever felt like this as a result of lack of intimacy?
I used to be fine being by myself (when I was a single woman). Never felt like I needed anyone to feel fulfilled. I hate this feeling! I hope I get better really soon.

Feel like ****! Am I depressed? Seriously?
sugarface13 sugarface13
26-30, F
14 Responses Jul 27, 2010

Yes SoMuchToSay, it does make sense. What is baffling to me is that he didn't even give me at least 6 months of fun. We've only been married for 2 yrs and he was like this from the first 6 months till now. Well, now he's wanting to change since he noticed that I am really fed up (after telling me he didn't care if I got it from somewhere else). <br />
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I'm just done. I feel like he played me. Now, I'm just his trophy to prove to his family that he's not gay.

Well, from my experience it seemd like it's the same for me. My wife never seems to want it either and it's almost like a thing you have to plan, it can never just happen and be fun. I think some people in relationships just get comfortable that they have someone here with them and don't think about thier needs or desires but only whan they want themselves. If that makes sence

Yea, I am diligently looking for a job right now. I just feel like as soon as I get a job, I'm out. Just need to make sure I make enough to pay rent and my basic bills...

run away. You are young, you'll bounce back financially - mostly emotionally. I am married 25 years to someone who is vacant - I am thankfully on a great med that helps, but have had a relationship with an old friend who fills the gap - but it makes it no so much better. I'm trapped. 2 kids in college, tuition, great life, sans the sexless marriage.... If I were strong enough way back -- life may be different for me now. <br />
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listen to your deepest voice and don't be afraid to go it alone. good luck to you.

I understand and honesty I wish I could help you...expect that quiting your job is not the answer... I was in great need of affection and feeling like a woman again... so I found myself a lover and its been wonderful... thought I wish I was getting it more... however, I wish my roommate would leave and he refuses... and I just can not believe how many men just do not have the sex drive that they had when we first meet....

sugar, that makes sense but ask yourself if ya can wait that long to get out and yes if ya can get him to foot the bills while you get your educational ducks in a row, all power to ya. see a lawyer tho and make sure your freak to be ex can't come after ya for financin your getaway plan. this guy may have this figured out and not want to support you only to have you take off. just be careful. secure your own funding for this degree.

Scooterluv, I'm currently looking for a part time job so I can focus on going to school full time and graduate early.<br />
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Keighlyaoibhe, I have tried and tried to find reasons why I should stay, but to no avail. The longer I stay, the angrier I get. Maybe I just need a little space from him for a while to clear my head.<br />
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Honestly, I wish my heart would let me stay, but I can't. There is so much out there I want to accomplish (relationship or not) that I can not staying with him. He has held me back for pursuing my dreams long enough. I'm taking my power back.

your marriage seems to have gone down hill. but to be totally truthful i would be happy to just be married. much wishes for luck and happiness to you love

What are you doin for cash since you dumped your gig?

Thank you guys so much. I have had a really horrible day today. Since I quit my job, I'm left at home with nothing else to do but think about my predicament. <br />
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I have made many "mistake" which I don't really regret, but the moral part of me keeps screaming: "WRONG!" I know only you guys or anyone that has been in my shoes understand exactly what is going on with me. I just need to be a little bit more gracious on myself. I'm planning on taking 2 weeks away from him, just to give me space to think. <br />
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Thanks once again for your response. It has helped a lot!

I know exactly how you feel. Depressed and then totaling whacked out by every woman that walks by. It gets on my mind and then it is all that I can think of. It does seem to go in cycles. I can go a few days and feel normal and then it hits me.

I'm the same way. I did it to fill a need that I had and later it started to bother me that it didn't bother my husband. Don't think horrible thoughts about yourself, you need for affection, attention and desirability isn't a fault, it's human nature. Being in a marriage that doesn't meet your needs is hard. We're here for you.

I know exactly what you are feeling! When I was single, things were fine and I was happy and satisfied. Now, the less I get intimacy, the more it seems to absorb me! Can't speak for you but, I definitely had depression. The constant rejection wears down the spirit. <br />
When we were alone, we did not have that constant rejection. Now, the person who is supposed to provide the special connection is reneging on the deal and making us feel like crap! It wears you down and sends you in a downward spiral.<br />
Unfortunately, this feeling does not change as long as you are in this relationship. You can work hard at minimising the negative emotions and it will work for some time but it has a way of gushing back out!!!<br />
You have been married for a short time, financially OK but now, you are scared of being alone! In this post you talked of how happy you were when you were alone! That is the key! Focus on that.<br />
There are no guarantees in life. Will you find someone else? Maybe. Will he be perfect? No. But will you be happier? Yes.<br />
Your H could change. For that, you both will need to get counselling and some form of sex therapy.<br />
Just understand that, the change he shows may not be what you were hoping for or as fast as you are hoping for it to happen!

Feeling the lack of affection, love, attention and intimacy from someone you love is one of the most painful things we can experience. Depression is a natural result, and from the short comments you have made, I would say "yes you are". You need to get yourself back. If you need help from a counsellor there is no shame in doing so. I imagine most of us here have - myself included.<br />
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You deserve more. Get your head together and get rid of this guy that cannot see the pain he is causing you.