I don't want to get a divorce, who would? It's like posting a huge sign that says, "I failed". But at what point do you finally summon the strength and conviction to declare, "I deserve better than this"?
I agree imathinkin, blaming and complaining isn't productive.
I also once believed I could do all the things on her list and if I did she would then desire me.
I now believe none of that matters and never did. All the flowers, candles, music, romantic dinners, cards, gifts, chores and everything else was never going to make the difference.
Okay, but still, it's better to remain optomistic or at least have a plan, a goal, than to just sit there and grumble, to try everything rather than to just conceed defeat, isn't it? Yes, I believe I have done everything I can in my marriage and it takes more than one to change. Some feel an affair is the answer. To me, that's like putting a bandaid on a chest wound. Maybe flowers are not the answer, and yeah it's a sitcom, they need to wrap it all up with a pretty bow at the end, and we all know it's just not that easy. But, blaming and complaining, just isn't productive.
like beatin a horse is foolish..........in that it creates a stinky smell and draws flies. leave it alone and quit addin to Hallmark's bottom line when buyin all those candles.
Yes. I agree totally. However, what happens when you bought the flowers on several occasions, do dinner, wash her car, etc., etc. and write poetry, professing love and there is still nothing? Yes, I am expecting reciprocation. There is a great book by Paulo Coelho, "Brida." He explains what sex is. I showed that to my wife and she agreed. Even if you do nothing wrong or almost nothing wrong it is a surrender/trust issue. If someone has that personality there is little to no chance things will ever change without their having an epiphany!
Yes, lol, it sure never went like that for me either...except for the last part where I whispered something and a look of shock mixed with disgust came over his face.